Posts Tagged ‘spiritual development’

768_nOur sense of identity is the tether we cling to as we navigate this life. But it is something we have created, through our experiences and understandings, and have formed it over time. It isn’t really “us.” As we develop on our spiritual journey, we see how letting go of this built up identity is critical to being able to grab another, greater tether – that of our belief and trust in the higher essences we are trying to connect with. It can seem to be the most scary concept, to lose our self, but that’s only true when we forget what we will gain in the letting go. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In the meditation dream, I’m trying to determine if there is life after death – as I’m noting in my dream as being possible that there is a life after death.

In the meditation dream I notice that I am able to unfold to a point in which the next step question is that of an awakening which would be on another level of awareness. This level of awareness would be different from anything I currently experience. I would be awakening to a plane in which I would not be able to find self. To not be able to find a self would be a death.

I believe I have heard that this level is called the plane of nonbeing. In the meditation dream I reached a point within that, first of all, was an energetic buildup within that felt like I was before a door, or a shift. In other words, something is penting up before it breaks through into nonbeing. And if this thing hadn’t built up as a kind of crescendo and had been just an easy shift, then I suppose the dynamic of what I went through later, you know, having to evaluate this, wouldn’t have been as dramatized.

In other words, it’s like as I’m waking up, a part of me is waking up, I’m seeing inside of myself that there’s this buildup almost at this threshold that will eventually push through, and then you simply shift into a plane of nonbeing. And such a plane would be a whole new realm to experience. Because it builds up with such a force before you actually shift in, it creates the sensation that you’re leaving, or something.

So the glimpse I must have had is causing me to ponder if there is life after death, and I seem to be able to ponder from deep within because I came right up to this threshold – as if it is okay to go onto this plane. In other words, I built it up, and built it up, and ready to just break right through.

I know that I will not be able to explain my experiences there, assuming it is possible, in words that I am accustomed to using now. The reason it will be like this is because it will be so different. So I have trepidation, or so it seems, as if going there will change the way I am and how I currently relate; it could change it forever.

I must have fallen into the plane, momentarily, to get to a point where I can be worried about being lost or having a need to be assured that it is okay. I say that because I believe that when I suddenly realized I was outside of all frames of reference, I jammed a tooth real hard. You could have taken a pin and stuck it into me to see if there was any sensation function anymore. It was kind of like that, only what I ended up doing was jamming the tooth to find out.

The trauma and reverberating pain of hurting a front tooth in such a traumatic way brought me back and, in coming back, I came back with the question I think I need an answer to before something like this can happen. The question is: is there life after death, and am I to go there? Apparently I am talking about waking up on the plane of the soul. I believe that is one way of describing what occurred.

Another way is that this is a place of nonexistence. In other words, there’s no manifestation necessarily. Your reality’s in a whole. It’s just in another realm in which there isn’t anything as a kind of physical perceiver. Then there is the question, as I hurt a tooth to invoke a familiar sensation from which I am able to articulate anew, is, if there is life after death is it the next step that I am to awaken upon the plane of? In other words, there is a life after death, but is it the next step? Am I to awaken up the plane of the soul and, I guess to add to that, and stay there?

An inner energetic crescendo seems to be building at, we’ll call it, the doorway within of something anew. I say that because I noticed, and this is kind of repeating it again, I’ve noticed the energetic buildup within that was like a pent up energy at a threshold which I knew, if one shifted and went through that, you’d be on another plane in which I am not sure if there is anything to report from this plane – because there won’t be a part of myself on this side. You know, there’s a concern that there won’t be a part of myself on this side which is striving to know what is going on as a kind of reality, or appropriate reality, or as a being.

So, as a consequence, is what’s going on here okay? And, if it’s okay, then how am I going to see myself in such a zone? These are all issues I deem to be important, that I need an answer to, because I am inclined to seek to have words to be able to say and connote what the zone is like, or level of nonbeingness is like. I’m caught in that kind of modality that I see this as important as a form of revelation. So that’s the meditation dream.

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206Yesterday we saw an image of being chased by the Mob, pointing to the kind of fear associated – on an inner level of the dreamer – with opening up a certain aspect of herself that has been repressed. In the follow-up dream, the image has progressed, the crisis is over, but some healing is still required to bring things back to a better state. And we see this healing happening as an act from one part of the dreamer (therapist) reaching out to the wounded part of the dreamer. This is how we progress, in this back and forth process of becoming more conscious. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So, in this next dream, it feels like there’s a woman who’s really upset; and she’s kind of an odd looking woman. I even feel like maybe she’s coming home from having been at an agency, or a hospital, or somewhere.

She’s very tall and a little heavyset. She almost looks like she doesn’t have any arms. She just has a little something odd about her, and I’ve been told I’m to help her and she’s been told that I am to help her.

And when she comes home it’s like I’m looking at her come up her driveway to her house. Her husband has already gone inside. She goes in, and then she comes out and she falls down on the driveway, on her knees, and just kind of prostates herself because she’s crying and she’s upset.

So I go over to her and kind of touch her back, and help her up, and it seems like I take her to my house and set her on my bed. And then I realize that although I’m to help her she doesn’t know anything about me, so I just start telling her about myself and maybe some of the things I don’t normally tell people. It might even be things like the dogs I used to have or, you know, that I used to do some work but a lot the work wasn’t just straight psychotherapy but I also did some alternative therapies. But also things like the dogs and other things about myself so she’ll know a little bit about me so that I can help her better.

John: So you’re continuing the previous image, from the standpoint that this time you’re pointing out that the basis upon which… It’s kind of like a Yin Yang happened in the first image, where something on the extreme on the other side, within, caused an opening up so that the opposite effect would be something that would come out that normally it would remain repressed, unconscious, that needs to be made conscious.

Now whenever something like that happens, your dream is telling you, that the parts of yourself that took a step like this –  because it knew could take a step like that – also has the responsibility for what it unleashes, or causes, in terms of an impact.

And so, in the dream, you have the two aspects of yourself. You have an aspect of yourself that is coping fine, and then you have the aspect of yourself that’s become a wreck of things, that’s become a wreck based upon whatever it is that’s occurred.

Now the part of yourself that has a particular kind of depth is also connected vibrationally to something that can heal or, in other words, has a quality about its exuding energy that can sweep over the effect so that you can hold the effect of what has gone askew, or is pushed over an edge.

Another image of the way the principle is, it is said that you can only go as high as you can go low – meaning you have to go into the depths of yourself in order to actually grow consciously. And so what you’re doing is you’re creating just a plop image kind of thing where you’re seeing a part of yourself working with another part of yourself, and holding the two together. And you could say that one part’s on one extreme, one part’s on another extreme, and that’s just kind of how it works as you develop a depth, or a scope, a width, or whatever you want to call it of your being. An openness of your being.

And then now if you take this information back to what we’ve learned in prior dreams, the opening up like this is important for you to be able to have access to all of the variables inside of yourself, because all of the variables composited make up the soul. In other words, you’re created out of everything that exists. And so then when you have an openness that catches up and can take in and not have to annihilate, or reject, anything, and is able to take and recognize on a soul level, then that is when you’re able to have a directed focus that can effectuate things more in life.

Now to begin with you’re effectuating things in terms of yourself, using kind of like the together part of yourself, or the higher self, to heal the lower self that cracked or is crumbling. And it’s always going to be that way, in that in the process in that regard it is like that. And that process leads to the development of a recognition of knowingness that comes from the soul because you have this, and this, and you’ve got the perspective.

And that’s a natural knowingness, then. And then from that natural knowingness you’re able to feel inside of yourself what is meaningful in terms of the flow of the soul, in terms of in the outer. That’s why that’s significant. Most people go along and they take and they have their notions as to what they’re doing, and why they’re doing it, and their notions are just notions, you know, but they don’t have the big picture, so that’s why they’re just notions. But when you go into the depth of yourself, and when you deal with this like that, like you’re doing, you’re developing a spectrum so that what you know is more than just a notion. It has the scope, it has the breadth of all that there is.

Do you see how the two twined? It’s interesting.

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im000gesIn development, we make progress in two ways: incrementally and then completely. At first we get a glimpse, or a sense, of a greater space opening up, and then as we continue to make our forays into the new space, our personal gravity shifts and we find ourselves fully in the new area. And so it goes. It is a process that helps us to know a place before we arrive, so we are better prepared to handle it.(At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In the meditation dream, what I was observing was a flow that was so comfortable that to wake up from this didn’t make sense. I knew as I was coming back, or coming to the surface, from within, I knew that I was coming out of this condition that it would be painful to wake up. In other words, to open one’s eyes because then you’re in the physical, and then something is going to hit you in terms of having sat there so long and certain aches and pains.

In other words, all of that stuff was gone in the state that I was in. I was floating somewhere. So, from the inner state I was in, all I cared about was abiding in this comfortable condition, not to do anything, mostly observing.

And one image I saw as I was coming out and back from this inner phenomenon of peacefulness that stuck out, because it baffled me, that suddenly there was this image there, I saw a spot that sloped from every direction into a middle area in which things from all of these different directions drained.

And deeper in the depth of my meditation, it wasn’t there. It existed as I was waking up. It was an image in which as I was coming back from the inner it was as if I was passing through a barrier or some various states, or whatever, and in this case from the soothingness with something that was a little bit like a wasteland was this drainage thing in there in which things naturally drained.

I took the image as positive in that although I was in an area of myself where nothing yet was affecting me one way or the other, it was about to. So in order to flow more naturally I would need to let everything that comes up fall away, to go down the drain.

As I settle back I started to shift back to this inner space. As I jerk myself back into the outer orientation, I heard the statement that I went into this inner peacefulness and dropped my outer demeanor. I went back and forth, in other words, to this energetic inner soothingness three times.

So what is going on is I’m not able to do justice with describing what I could feel inside as a soothingness because it didn’t comport yet to the outer. In other words, they were so far inside I hadn’t pulled the two together.

If I hadn’t been told that I had changed, and had gone back and forth three times, I wouldn’t have known this. In other words, I don’t have that sensibility that pulls together as a barrier that hides this.

The reason I am not able to reconcile the difference is because the gap between the inner depth and the variables of the outer is separated in a way that I’m not able to know yet. I can tell that I am breaking back and forth, in other words, I’m going back and forth. I could tell I’m doing this as a sensation, but I cannot describe what it’s like in terms of this gap between the two worlds.

In other words, it’s still a bit of a veil there or something. What I do know is that the more at home I am able to be in terms of the inner and the outer, the barrier between the two domains doesn’t affect me as much because I become more balanced. It’s as if the outer, with regard to the natural inner flow, is echoing more and more, which suggests that the barrier is getting thinner and thinner. It will be a wonderful sensation someday to be able to make the switch back and forth without the defense mechanism barrier in between holding out its veil. Isn’t that interesting?

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