Posts Tagged ‘spiritual teacher’

cloud-light-breakthroughIn the outer world, we have teacher and student. In the inner world of dreams, we have one aspect of us trying to teach another aspect of us. And the process is the same. We often forget that we are many things and operate on many levels. Certain aspects of us are much smarter and more knowledgeable than others – and I don’t speak of the brain here. Part of what we strive to do is to get all these parts to understand, and get aligned with, what the best of us already knows. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: I didn’t want to write this one up because it came before these other two and it didn’t make any sense to me at the time.

The image was that you were standing—you were off in another area that I could see. And you had kind of a wrap around you that denoted that you were holding a space. And you were holding the space regardless of how I was.

Apparently, in other words, what this image was, you had shown me something, and I hadn’t accepted it. And what you had shown me was true and I still hadn’t accepted it. I was doing some sort of pout, or righteousness, or who knows what tangent I was on.

Well, because what you had shown me was right, was true, if I’m going to be that way, then you have to hold the space. You’re not going to go into my derivation of weirdness—density—I can see you off in a distance maintaining that, holding that, keeping the purity of that.

And just seeing you holding that space of something that is here to be made known, as a realness, that somehow or another affects or touches me and I slowly am able to let go of whatever tangent I’ve gone off on. I’m able to let go of that and come to recognize that you’re right.

Now this is the same principle that works between a teacher and a student. The teacher holds that purity, or that state, and the student goes through all these antics and the teacher continues to maintain that note.

If the teacher bought into any of these antics, then that would just intensify the density of confusion for the student. But because the teacher holds the subtle note of what is true, and the student, somewhere inside of themselves, hears the echo of that, then the student is able to grow by that process.

That presence is called a type of darshan and the need seems to exist in life, because a person can’t extricate themselves on their own, the need exists where there has to be something as a principle, as a manner, or process, upon which a person vibes off of, like a type of tuning fork—a tuning fork of purity, a tuning fork that stays in the overall in spite of the antics of other things that are constantly dancing around in their prerogatives, and ego, and self-image, and all of that.

That is what a teacher is in relationship to a student, holds that so that it functions as a go-between. So that the student then sees that and then from that, is able to, so to speak, be transported to what is real.

But they see it by way of—I hate to use the word example because examples and stuff like that are used in terms of trying to work on the principle of increasing one’s understanding in terms of mind/sense/ego reality, but no, you see that in relationship to heart-to-heart, or soul-to-soul, and that deeper knowingness comes through and that’s what effectuates the change.

So, the dreaming last night had to do with the process, the ways, in which you access what is important. Now, I’ve heard it said that if you could naturally do this, you wouldn’t even need to meditate. But we can’t naturally do this and that’s why we meditate.

That’s like a tool, and that’s why we hold onto the dhikr, that’s why we have prayers of protection, in some instances. That’s why there are all of these avenues to try to break through the rust, to get us so that there is this flow that comes through.

So, you might say that what took place last night, took one into kind of a world that is hard to report in terms of dreams anymore, but one is more directly getting information out of the sound and you can’t prove it, that you’re doing that, because you can’t bring that into the ego mind outer, to where it makes any sense, other than how I tried right now.

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groundingIn this continuing discussion of the new energy that has arrived on the planet, one aspect of being in tune with it – rather than resisting it – is that it is occurring on a vibrational level in all of us. There’s an element of trust required to let it in our lives, because if we put our personal view on it, and expect to keep some idea of “control,” it will turn up in us as pain and suffering – in both subtle and not so subtle ways. (For the earlier installments, see Part I, Part II, and Part III.) (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: You can take it all into account. You’re meant to be able to take it all into account. You’re meant to be able to live throughout the Whole.

Isn’t this interesting? This is the new energy.

Ann: Just incredible. Wow. It’s just incredible. Oh boy.

John: And who can you explain this to? How can anybody get it? I don’t know how you can logically explain it, because the way that one tries to understand things has to do with the conditions in the outer as the example.

And if you reduce it to that kind of way of talking, the perspective of that way, that’s like the person who is suffering now. They are suffering because they are following this one particular way, this very linear way of putting the pieces together.

And this component they’re trying to put into that way and it won’t fit in there anymore, and what they’re trying to put it in has been thrown in the garbage. That process which was wonderful has been thrown in the garbage.

You have to step out of those shoes. That will be very, very interesting because how do you use language to try to get that person to step out of their shoes?

Also, the thing about it is you have to… this is a trait that the feminine has to watch more so than the masculine. The masculine has a certain ruthlessness about its nature that probably helps it a little better in this regard. But in the feminine nature, let’s say you’re looking at somebody and they’re struggling. You’re trying to ameliorate it. You’re almost trying to empathize with it. You’re trying to kind of go at it in their way for them a bit. You’re kind of like walking down the road with them in this way.

And instead of being able to just come right straight down and let the chips fall where the chips fall, and trust, and trust that something will be able to sort itself out, maybe not then, but later.

And when you’ve done something like this, and you are true to yourself in doing something like this, to begin with you kind of suffer, but to the degree that you have a capacity inside of you to hold the space open, something then heals, and it sets in motion a transitioning etherically, is the only way I know how to say it, whereby the other person starts to catch up, they start to get it.

Like I had a good friend call me up and I think he was drunk at the time. It just bothered him and bothered him and he was tearing himself up and, of course, because this new energy has hit, a part of me doesn’t know how to be poker faced, I guess, and I told him he looked like hell.

Then he’s working on this particular spot that we own together, trying to fix it up. And I say, “Geez it has ruined it, it’s ruined it” you know, just like it has really been bruised and hurt…  And all of this became, and was taken in by him, as a reflection upon himself, in too much of a personal way. And as I’m talking with him, it’s like he’s telling me how he has been hurt, and how I hurt him. He’s a wonderful, wonderful guy.

Normally I sit down and meditate at 10 o’clock, and he calls at 10 o’clock, and I get off the phone an hour and a half later because in the talking to him I finally soothe the situation, or something soothed the situation, and he went right to sleep.

I could hear him snoring there or breathing, asleep, and so it was almost like he went into a Dhyana.

First of all that which was carrying away on him, kind of got taken into account or evened out so it wasn’t tearing him up anymore like it had been, causing him to go berserk. And then he went into a soothing state where the qualities of how you are, and who you are, come through and take over.

And I look at this and I realize that this is what a teacher does to a student. They’re able to come to them at night in this vibrational way. It’s almost as if you can have a dream: did they give you the dream? Or did they just set in motion something that quickened a particular vibrationalism that is part of who you are, they being able to, on a vibrational level, note the soul. And that, in and of itself, sets in motion reflective mirroring that causes you to go.

Is that how the teacher works? It appears to be so. It appears to be so. All vibrational. And a teacher that functions like that cannot be dealing with the little shit, you know. They can’t be sitting there going around and around and around and around. You know it just, it drags them down.

You have to let go to a certain degree, in order to catch the hint and the subtle inflection. And that hint and that subtle inflection just keeps going and taking you somewhere. It’s all vibrational. Until eventually, you don’t count.

Yet there is a quality about you that may have been an ego overwhelm, at some point in time, in which it was horrible. You know, it was a density that stunk up the place. But ultimately that quality and that trait, once honed to where it gets with the Whole, and you flow with the Whole instead of guiding that quality for some other kind of edification, once you get so that you do that, then how you are you come to know, is absolutely just fine. That is the bit of God or something, that you are.

So how is it possible to annihilate anything? In other words, if you see some part of you, yes that part of you could be holding you back, putting you in moods and stuff like that, and yes, maybe you have to go into and face that to some degree, but ultimately you don’t go anywhere.

How you are, is how you are, and you just have to know how to live and be all it is that you are.

I even had this dream the other day… first there was an earlier dream and then the answer that I was told is that the reshaping in the outer has to do with me. I go wow, wow. I don’t know what that means, but then that sets in motion the next dream that drills down on what me is.

And so in this dream, my brother and I are living on a mountainside, on a place that has a little cabin and it sits up and has a tremendous view and you look out over a steep drop off nearby and you’re completely isolated.

We’re away from all kinds of civilization. Our car is broken down so we can’t connect to them even if we wanted to. It’s a small cabin and the belongings we have make it a little awkward because it kind of clutters the place up.

Well, one day I wake up in the morning and I say to my brother, I say, “I think it’s leaning. I think this house is no longer on the level anymore.” I test it by putting a marble down on the floor or anything to see if it will roll. Instead Mark says, “Well, what do you expect? You’re way up in the air. You’re really high like this. It is going to be a little like that.”

And so that mood and that attitude is such that I can’t accept that. I mean there’s an attitude behind that. I have to figure out what’s going on, so I go out the door and then I walk around to the front, and to my shock and amazement the slope is just sloughed off, and here is the house sitting there and it’s right on the very brink where everything is sloughed away. And so if any more were to slough off, the house would go over the edge. And of course our car that was broken down anyway, you know it’s gone – it’s gone over the edge.

And so I go back inside and I ask Mark I say, “Gosh, what are we going to do?” Again it’s like “What do you expect. I mean this is kind of like the way it is.” And so I say to Mark, “Umm, we need to call somebody. Who should we call?” Mark says, “Me,” meaning not him but me – call myself.

That’s what fixes it. Yeah, that’s how it works in the outer. We are all of that. Every little thing that happened.

And our problem is, we hear our own loudness too much, and then eventually when we get outside of that loudness and we allow that quality to just be in relationship to how everything is in the Whole, we just soar because we fit in hand and glove just like we’re meant to fit in.

But when we pull it back and we go around in some sort of quasi recognized peculiarity of a me, myself, and I, we suffer to beat the band. We are in a state of bewilderment as to why we are having our moods and our attitudes and our hurt heart, and why somebody is doing this to us and that to us, and the world is acting up and mistreating us…

And we’re tripping and falling this way and that way and it makes no sense why this should be happening, this is just not right, it’s not fair, and then we realize oh, okay we get a little stabler in our demeanor so we walk a little straighter again, but still it’s just a question of degree, I guess, because then when we hit a mood then all hell breaks out again and we go around and around like that.

And we have to realize that walking a little better, or the degree to which everything is falling completely apart, are still one in the same. Both of those are still working with some sort of identification in terms of us, instead of us just being there for the outer.

This is something in terms of the new energy.


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In this dream analysis, Ann tells her dream of a castle and a dragon, with the twist ending of a friend getting a divorce. This leads to a discussion of the fundamental process of spiritual awakening, which is triggered when a person says “Yes” to something greater than themselves. When this happens, a new world opens up, but it can happen in surprising ways. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Ann: Okay, it was an interesting dream.

I was in a really large castle and there were lots of rooms, and I found myself going from room to room seeing these different people in these different rooms and kind of helping them along. I keep going from one room to another, and along the way people tell me there’s a dragon in the castle and I tell them there’s nothing to be afraid of it’s just a dragon.

I go into one room and there’s a woman I know and I used to work with her, but anyway she tells me she’s getting a divorce from her husband of 17 years and she says “I’ve made my decision, I’ve had enough, I’m going to make changes in my life.” Just very emphatic that that was what was going to happen, and then I woke up.

John: Well, you have very simple images complicated by a final image that is going to be a type of pressure that is going to be put on you very quickly.

The first two images are images that you greet and you face enthusiastically. I mean, this is wonderful stuff. Basically you have three images there. You have the image of the big castle, you have the image of the dragon, and then you have the image of something that’s about to change.

The image of the castle shows that you’ve developed a particular kind of depth. In other words, whenever you dream about a house you’re dreaming about yourself as you’re growing, and you have this room and that room and more rooms and more rooms and so on, but it’s now a castle – it’s huge.

So that means that you have developed a base. When a person comes to a path such as this, there’s a certain putting together that has to happen. In other words, they have developed a certain woundology, and they’ve been damaged by the world, and there’s a certain degree of fracturing that’s occurred that has to somehow or another be accommodated or dealt with, so that the person can sustain what’s about to hit them, so that they don’t completely crack up and become like an easily broken glass bottle person.

Well the problem is you’re going to crack up anyway, but you’re really not an easily broken glass bottle person because you can handle it. But if you got hit with this straight away you wouldn’t be able to handle it, you could go insane. Because the dragon is the kundalini energy, and kundalini energy in and of itself is dangerous and, typically, when people access it unnaturally in the outer world they end up in insane asylums, they flip out.

It’s very, very dangerous energy because unless you’ve developed a certain inner awakened acuity to it, meaning able to handle the greater space of yourself inside, it can throw you around.

For example, kundalini energy opening up too much: An example of the teacher was that he was walking the streets at 3:00am, he couldn’t sleep, and got just enough sleep to stay alive but could hardly work, could hardly function, because it puts you under… it puts you through a lot of paces.

An example of the kundalini energy opening up in this one woman that I came across in Germany, was she had this dream and instead of the teacher having his normal talk, he out of the blue called upon her to tell her dream. And she was terrified over this dream. She was afraid to go to sleep at night because what would happen at night was more than she could handle. And the whole depiction was like being broken into a million pieces.

Instead of interpreting it or anything like that, the teacher just took it as the way things happen, and he turned and essentially took the contents of the energetic of what she was portraying – instead of offering any condolences or soothingness or anything like that – he turned to everybody else and he said, “I don’t know why most of you are here. This is going to happen to all of you. It’s just a matter of time.”

Of course this was her time and of course she portrayed the inability to be able to handle it, but what the teacher’s teacher used to always say is that, he awakens this kundalini energy and never ever has it gone wrong. In other words, the kundalini energy basically is described and even the teacher has described this in terms of the West saying that there is no one that knows how to teach this or to handle this.

There are a lot of people who get to the point where they realize that it’s important, but no one knows how to work with it, and his teacher said that he awakens this and it’s a slow, steady process and what opens up involves a lot of mutual trust that has to go back and forth between the teacher and the student.

There’s lots of room for things to go wrong, and when he awakens the kundalini energy, and this trust gets established with the student, it never ever ever goes wrong.

Now, in the West, when you hear a teacher talk about it, he talks about it as if no one understands this kundalini energy and when it awakens no one knows how to work with it. Never does he refer to himself as the person who stirs this sort of stuff up, and does know how to work with it. He just talks as if no one in the West knows how to work with it, and that’s why it is considered extremely dangerous and why you have a lot of people that flip out.

And he’ll give examples like where a person will do a particular practice, and the way he’ll put it is they did it a little too well, and they opened up more than they can handle and it flipped them.

This is a path where you die before you die. And it’s a path where the friend slays the friend. This is a very peculiar image, you know the friend that kills the friend. All of course to get to the “die before you die,” or to the point where you have reached and let go of how it is that you hold onto an appearance of yourself.

And you don’t break that appearance without picking up speed, without gaining power, without this kundalini energy awakening. And if you don’t know how to work with it, because it works more in a macro level than on a micro level, and if you apply it on a micro level it can drive you insane, it can make you very dizzy, very jittery, and very unsettled and not able to be comfortable.

And so it tends to be dormant when you’re going through and occupying a real small mud puddle. The image of the castle is a little bit like the image of the ocean frog and the inland frog, where the ocean frog has the ocean and the inland frog has the back little pond that it has as the entire world and swims around it and points it out to the ocean frog that came to visit, nothing gets bigger than that. Because that’s all that it’s experienced, and that’s how it has pigeonholed its way of being.

The image of the castle is the same, that’s the ocean. In other words, you have found a much greater expanse to yourself than otherwise, and in a castle there’s so much room that you can have the kundalini energy, which is the dragon.

Okay, that’s all rubbing your hands together. This is great kind of stuff, but then comes the hail maker. Now it comes down to… and how did you describe that part again?

Ann: Okay, so anyway I’m telling everybody they can handle the dragon. So I walk into this room and it’s a woman I know and she tells me she’s getting a divorce from her husband of 17 years. She says, “I’ve had enough, I’ve got to make some positive changes, I’ve got to change things in my life.”

John: So first of all when you say that you can handle the dragon, you are inside of yourself saying “Yes” to a process. You don’t say this “Yes” or this “No” in an outward way. You say it on the inner soul level and, somehow or another, the teacher knows when you want the juice turned up or turned off or you want to take a respite or whatever it is so that you can handle the kundalini energy.

You’re now saying it’s time, you can handle it. You’re saying “Yes” to the process. So when the process is turned up, you now access an awakening in terms of yourself that enables you to have an overall sight or, I should say, intertwining that’s not otherwise possible.

Before, you’ve got the small pond and that’s it, but now you are having to confront throwing off the shackles of things that keep you from experiencing something much greater, more on a macro level now as opposed to the micro level. The micro level being the frog pond.

Other images of this kind of throwing away, in other words, you haven’t done it really loudly. I mean, in your way that was pretty loud. But here’s one that I suppose in its way is pretty loud. A woman is chained by a torturer in the bottom of the pit. And she’s been that way, abused, for so doggone long that she knows nothing different.

And it’s been so long that the chains and everything have kind of gotten kind of old and rusty and the connections have gotten brittle. And all of a sudden she realizes that she can break those chains, come out and run naked down the street.

That’s an image of breaking out of the shackles of things. Your image is similar to that. Your image is that you’re under a certain kind of masculine oppression that has kept you from opening up to the depth of who you are.

The feminine is the person who brings things into life in creation, that opens something up from the inner into the outer, and that is not possible when it’s subjugated by its inner masculine that keeps it in a state of bondage, identifying with things in terms of the environment.

And when it is caught dribbling away – identifying with things in the outer – it gets caught in what is called a doingness. This term is associated with women more than guys, the doingness thing. Because somewhere in the echo of the feminine is this idea of having to sustain the family unit and all of that and it does it well. It takes that responsibility on.

The masculine doesn’t do that. The masculine is kind of rude that way, kind of callous and kind of checked out. Now it can recognize the protocol, but it’s the feminine that makes sure that it’s followed. It’s the feminine that wants to make sure that the holidays are honored and the get-togethers happen and that everybody’s comfortable.

What has evolved over time is that feminine has fallen underneath the directive of, you might say, the idiot, the masculine, that doesn’t do any of this but still barks out the orders, and that then creates a shutting down. In other words, that’s what causes the veil to hit, whereby you let go of your greater sense of knowingness, you compromise it, as if something else knows better.

So you then are veiling yourself and making yourself more unconscious. Ultimately this reaches a point of an energetic that is like a nausea, and that’s what you came to in your dream. You needed to break free from something in order to be yourself, to live yourself now. And, you know, the jig is up  – you know, enough is enough.

It’s interesting that you dreamed something like this because if I’d have just jumped in and started talking about things, this would have been the theme of what we would have talked about.

In other words, you get to a particular point where you cannot handle the sight, in other words you can’t see yourself in relationship to the outer appearances. Whatever you look at in the outer you cannot use that to stroke yourself as a reason for being alive or however you’d say that. In other words, you lose the ordinary, what used to be creature comforts, of identification.

And actually you probably never ever had it, more than anything you always had the means to an end, means to an end, you know constantly just out of reach kind of on a treadmill kind of momentum, but you get to a point in time where some part of you inside just knows that you’re not going to get satisfied in this way anymore.

Then you find yourself in a kind of agitation. It’s kind of like a kundalini raw energy aspect again, that you can now handle, in that you can’t settle for the simplistic anymore, or the normal comforts that everybody else would find wonderful – you tend to find repulsive, insulting, inhibiting, nauseating, and nobody else that you know, if you’re in an environment or a setting and you’ve got other people around, they don’t seem to act like there’s anything wrong.

But you just can’t handle it. It used to be, yeah you could go through, you could shuck and jive and carry on the whole sort of thing, but now, all of a sudden, you can’t. This is a type of starting to die before you die.

The teacher likes to put it something like this: You lose a certain sense of freedom that others have. I mean, is it really a freedom that they have?

You can’t buy into that anymore, which is another way of saying that you can’t do the things that you used to be able to do because it doesn’t have any value for you. For them it has value because they can still lie to themselves and believe that it’s true. But you can’t.

Ann: Isn’t that interesting. Wow.

John: And as a consequence this disrupts everything around you. It can get so severe that you lose all your friends, because what they relate to, and you used to relate to… but what if you do not relate to that anymore? You know, what do you have in common? It can become peculiar like that.

Where this goes and what is taking place, a part of you is… it’s a type of intertwining. Well, let’s see. How would one put it? A human being always takes the energetic that they are experiencing inside of themselves and they have to arrange it into some sort of kind of pitch or spitball that they can project.

And so as you experience things inside yourself, rather than taking them too literally to heart, you use what you learn to sharpen yourself, or think that you’re sharpening yourself, in terms of an outer persona.

For quite some time you become, to your way of thinking, wiser, sharper, have a little more dexterity, a little more sense than you had before in terms of how you approach things in the outer.

That’s how you tend to see yourself for quite some time, because what you’re doing is when you are opening this stuff up, and you’re finding the treasure chest, so to speak, of this greater domain inside of yourself, it’s all wonderful. And yet a certain string hasn’t been pulled yet, to point out that it won’t work very well if it is strictly applied outwardly.

You know to try to build a better gadget or palace or whatever for yourself. It doesn’t quite work that well because all of that, technically, on one level it looks like it’s being enhanced, but on another level it is falling away. And when you finally get to the point where it’s like falling away that can be scary.

But you have recognized the sweet pain of being able to work with the kundalini energy, you’ve developed a trust in that, and more than a trust you’ve developed an intertwining, whereby you cannot tell yourself that this is separate anymore.

You can see how there’s some part of you that affects everything in your environment, and that you have an effect over everything, as if you are the Whole, or the Whole is connected to you and streams through you in some fashion, so that you have to take a kind of responsibility that everything that is going on is somehow or another part of you.

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