Posts Tagged ‘stories we tell ourselves’

abstrfn3We all have stories that we tell ourselves, ways that we rationalize certain behaviors or decisions. Still, deep inside, we know that we are only fooling ourselves, or delaying the inevitable. Because there is an interesting fact about life in this universe: everything that happens begins with a cause. Whether we speak of a physical ailment, or wonder why something grows well here and struggles over there – nothing just happens. There is always a confluence of energies that are caused to gather in a certain spot, and, when they do, something becomes inevitable. When we take this to heart, it can be easier to look at the causation of something, rather than to deny the result. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So now I have a couple dreams that modify this a little bit, to show some deeper aspects. In this dream, I’m driving a car that I usually don’t drive because I have a way of bringing out an abuse that hurts the environment; it’s just the way I am when I drive.

So the passenger of the car gets a kick out of telling the story of how I am pulled over by a cop, and in my amnesia and shock, as if I don’t know what’s going on. And the story gets exaggerated with each telling in terms of the shock of the cop, and that I could be so unconscious.

After hearing the story told a few times, with each telling a bit more cutting, I decide it’s my turn to tell the story. And I point out, before I get into it, that the way this is going it will come to this sort of story before it is over. So now I tell the story. Instead of a cop doing the questioning, my exaggerated story goes like this. I’m stopped by the side of the road with a flat tire, an old man comes down a hillside, cane in hand, and comes to where I’m at and says, “Is that how you treat your car?” He comments how I should never be driving. The way I shredded the tire before coming to a stop is unconscionable.

And so I go on and on with all of this, making this up to drag this thing out. And when I’m through, even though I had indicated in advance that I’m doing an exaggerated rendition, strewing things completely out of proportion, thinking that they would know that I’m making 90% of it up, too, and that the listener should get it – that is not what I noticed. The look on the face of the listener was kind of appalled.

So, like I said, this is a reprimand. So what’s the scenario that drags something like this up? I’m looking at grief as a means to taking greater responsibility – as a precursor to love opening up, is how that is meant to be denoted, or understood.

For example, when I learned that I was going to die of cancer in six months, and that nothing could be done to avert the inevitable, other than slow it down, the shock cut through in a way that nothing before had ever done. So, when I’m telling the outer story of the dream, making this up, and exaggerating the event, this is when I finally see it, or note it. Before, you know, I could always laugh it off, or shuck and jive, in other words, poo-poo the whole thing.

So the meaning is, is in a world of duality, there are two ways of looking at everything. Always are. And everything is in an inner and outer dream, as it is me, I am able to see everything, I should be able to see everything, from both directions. And both ways. And, as in the above scenario, sure, you could say that from all of that that joy is the greatest thing, but also grief can beckon a closeness not otherwise possible. And, in that regard, you could say, grief is love.

But it’s still not over. There’s another rather interesting one. In a prior dream, I am with another person, and we are introducing to a group this theme park. In other words, these guests are there and they’ve never been here before. And, of course, I’m just there and the other guy is actually the person who is in charge at the theme park to describe to them what it’s about. But I know what it’s about, too, because I’ve been with this guy.

Now the theme park is designed to give visitors a memorable experience, it’s like going to Disney World or something, and riding an event that tweaks your senses or something. Only in this case you come to it, and things happen around you – and you have something memorable as a consequence of it.

So my friend is about to present it in his usual, straightforward way what’s to happen here, and I decide, nah, let’s spice it up. So I say to the visitors that they need to hold back a safe distance because, through this gate off to the left, a bunch of ravenous mad dogs are unleashed. They’re dangerous and have been known to be uncontrollable. So, if they hold back a little bit it’s okay.

And I’m doing my best not to smile, because I’m trying to come across as literally shocking as possible, it’s a joke, just to spice it up. And my rendition of what is going to happen at this theme park is so ghastly that the guests are looking at me, studying my face real closely for any indications that this can’t quite really be so. Like, well, am I gonna smile? Is this a joke? As I am effectively jarring their sensibilities.

Meaning: The lilt and mannerism of everything in life is more meaningfully portrayed, in terms of least disturbance, by putting the best light on things, not spice it up to create a reactionary effect. Everyone already has the little nuances that hold them back. In other words, you can always see where a person’s got his little hiccups, you can always go to that. It’s just like a mother can always disturb her son, because she has an innate sense of what he’s about, and can keep him screwed up and control him – not letting him be free.

So, to understand this, it is better to direct the energetic waywardness by taking the latent force and effect and pointing it to a greater inner realization. In other words, if you’re going to do it, how do you slingshot to greater depth realization? That way the literalness of the outer does not get so strewn out of proportion that the inner meaningness gets veiled, due to reactionariness, or defense mechanism.

So the punch line to all of this is, if you can do it, it takes a lot of focus to carry off an outer divine play ruse to get to a deeper note from within. When this fails, reverberations can get so loudly in the way that the hint is lost.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Ruse

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