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Posts Tagged ‘surrendering spiritually’

John: So from your dream yesterday, and now into mine, the ongoing theme is about developing oneself to adjust according to what is unfolding (for yesterday’s discussion, see Another Dimension). That’s very different to the way most of us behave, because we are accustomed to always being headstrong and coming at life in a way that we imagine it’s supposed to be. That headstrong, ego-based approach is, of course, due to our cultural conditioning, i.e., personal experience, education, family life, and social norms.

My dream starts off with me having to contend a bit with my conditioning. The feeling I have is that I’m in a scenario that is far more than I’m used to experiencing. This is pushing my senses to an extreme, which is out of character in terms of how I normally see myself. There is a feeling in the dream that everything is over the top. In other words, my defense mechanisms actually make me think that I know what’s going on.   

The problem, however, is that how things are “supposed” to be, in the living organism of this universe, is actually dictated according to the flow. I am (we are all) more hardwired into this flow than I (we) care to realize. I’ve forgotten it because I have held onto my internal buffers.

These buffers are, of course, defense mechanisms, and without them I have to contend with the aliveness of life more directly. In the dream I saw that as so outrageous that it was unnerving. So it made me feel disoriented.

In the next dream a question was raised regarding what is to going happen. Someone asks the question in relationship to something in the outer: they ask, “Is the stock market going to go up or down?”

It’s like they’re taking a poll to see how different people react. Those who feel more defensive think the stock market is scary and could easily come crashing down. In other words, they fear they will get hurt.

I break through the issue by saying it’s going to go up. There are a whole group of people standing around (including your dad) who agree. But rather than just leaving it as a matter of opinion, it’s important to understand why it’s is going to go up, so I say that it’s determined by one thing: either the money supply – the supply of currency – is going to increase, which is inflationary, and will send the market up, or it’s going to decrease, which is deflationary, in which case the market is going to go down.

So what are these dreams really about? In both sets of images I’m examining how things are meant to unfold. To see things from that vantage point is to get away from personal involvement or personal opinion. I’m being shown that the safest path is to let go of feeling separate from it all, and instead get into the aliveness of the flow and see where it leads.

Of course aliveness here means everything that’s alive – taking into account all that exists – and of course separating out my personal desires, hopes, or hidden agendas, because those only serve to separate me from the flow and cause a hurt to my heart. Humans can’t steer the flow, they must go with it – they must be aligned to what it is doing.

When I try to contend with things separate from the flow of life, that’s when I hurt the heart. And of course when others try to do the same, they will hurt my heart as well. It may seem like human nature to try to direct things away from struggle and hurt – to always try to make things “safe,” but it’s more natural, and in keeping with the aliveness of everything in life, to be in tune with the rhythm. In so doing something from within can then be revealed.

In other words, something is trying to rise up, which means that there’s something hidden that is touching the veils that keep reality hidden from us. To develop, or utilize, the coping devices we have adopted is to hide behind the veil. In so doing, neither our process, nor the process of the universe works very well.

Perhaps another way of saying the same thing is that people try and create an environment that suits their self-image. That act is in contradiction to the flow, and actually causes a contraction in the heart. Anything that veers away from the inner flow of the whole leads to suffering; the inner flow of the whole comes down and touches us from above. Then our light awakens within the greater light and it’s able to rise back up.

The challenge is to take in everything without expectation or judgment, and to be able to flow with that. That puts us closer to the heart of the world and enables us to follow the will of the Creator at play.

The will of the Creator is behind everything in Creation. Access to this flow is not possible when we deceive ourselves in terms of what is really happening.

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Jeane: In the next image, I’m trying to get to my car. I’ve walked up to the local grade school, and I can see that my car is parked on the other side of the playground.

As I walk toward the car, I suddenly hit my head against a fence. I realize that, for some reason, there is a glass fence surrounding the school that I couldn’t see. I run right into it.

I realize that I’m going to have to walk around the block to get to my car because there is no shortcut across the playground.

John: Can you repeat that? (Jeane repeats the dream.)

Each of us has our own way of being that’s rooted in the environment that is before us – because we’re in creation. That means we have the realities of where we are born, whether we are male or female, and the aspects of our circumstances that we have to manage as we go through life.

All that is before us, so to speak. And it could be said that represents the playground we act within. Your car, on the other hand, represents the you-of-you – it is you as a thing in motion and traveling through this existence. It is your real home. The image of your dream shows you trying to navigate, or cross through, the playground of your life to reach the inner you.

That’s a great description of the spiritual journey, and the challenge of being on a spiritual path. Because this outer life shouldn’t be something that prevents us from reaching our inner self, but rather we should be in our inner self as we experience the playground of life.

So even though we must be participant in the goings on of life, we shouldn’t get too caught up in the drama of it. Because if we experience it as drama – meaning we take it too personally – then it tends to throw us off course. When we are thrown off course, we can visualize that as being pulled out of our “car”; we are no longer based in our inner self, but entangled in an outward identity.

The more we are entangled in an outward identity, the more the truth of the universe becomes veiled to us – the more we are sleepwalking through life, rather than being awake and conscious. What prevents us can seem like invisible forces (a glass fence) that keep these two realities separate.

What happens is that when we come to develop a bit of spiritual understanding, we begin to realize that it isn’t the external playground that is causing all the disturbances in our life, but it is our reaction to, and personal involvement in, what is occurring outside of ourselves.

We experience those disturbances as stress, anxiety, and fear, and we attribute them to the external events, but it’s closer to the truth to say that those disturbances arise because we are getting further and further away from our inner selves (the car).

The result is that we are no longer able to simply proceed, in a natural way, because we have surrounded ourselves with glass fences. Then our energy is spent in trying to figure out how to circumvent those barriers to our inner selves and, as the dream shows, we find that there are no shortcuts back.

However, the dream is trying to show you that this feeling of having to go the long way around isn’t natural. You are meant to be able to go straight toward the car – you can see it and recognize it, but it’s just out of reach.

So we are meant to transcend the playground of this life; in other words, glide over whatever barriers may arise. When we are centered in our inner selves, we are in the flow of things.

The images signify that you have become more aware that the outer is an abstraction to how you truly are on the inner. We (you) should be able to incorporate both places simultaneously, and be able to deal with all that occurs in the flow of the outer, without creating veils, or resistance, to our ability to catch up with the real car of ourself.

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John: In the last two posts (here and here) I have talked about the relationship between the lower self and the higher self, and I just want to delve into that a little bit more because these dreams open up a huge territory in spiritual development, and also provide insight into how our dreams can help that process.

When we are based in the lower self, the ego self, we have the perception that, as we go along in life, we sort things out as they effect us personally. We evaluate everything in relationship to how we feel about it, which is also the degree to which we see the light inside of us as our light. That perception actually affects the light within us. We’ve looked at it enough to recognize that when we relate only in a lower-self way, the inner light diminishes.

Then, at some later point, when the higher self makes itself known to us, we recognize the need to break through the limitation that we’ve imposed on our lives by thinking everything’s personal. What I’m saying is that we basically go out into the world, get ourselves dirtied up by the ways of it (where everyone views life through their egos), and then we come back seeking to recharge the light we have been diminishing, by meditating, reading, or examining our dreams. All these activities (and others) help us relight the light.

Actually, that’s an interesting analogy – when we live in our ego selves, the light of our higher selves acts like a pilot light (on a gas stove) – it sits there at minimum, but nothing’s cooking. To feel greater overall wellbeing, and to access greater understanding, we need to turn the flame up.

I’m still just speaking about a perception – we still look at ourselves as separate in a lower-self way. To be on a development journey, though, we need to elevate ourselves above that perception. So what begins to happen is that, as we feel the inner light getting dulled by things that we’re doing in the outer, we start to practice a process of forgiveness with ourselves.

We might say, “Okay, what was I was doing, in the outer, that caused that to happen?” In some instances, we could say, “Well, what I did was unnecessary.” And in still other instances, we might see what we did as part of an intention that’s important in terms of what we feel we need to do. We might not be able to change the third aspect, but we can change the first two.

Slowly, we begin to watch how certain involvements cause our heart to ache a bit, or to feel how certain relationships drain our energy. That’s the beginning of seeing that the things that dim our inner light can be recognized as something akin to a form of sin (if there is such a thing as sin). We become more and more aware of the things we do that go against our purpose.

The aspects that go against our purpose require redemption, or a degree of letting go, or an act that is akin to forgiveness. So what we learn to do is to bring in, or connect to, a longing. That longing can cause a washing away of the “sin” and a restoring of the light. The longing is basically whatever causes one to surrender and to be able to experience and feel the journey through the heart. The longing turns up the pilot light, and helps release what has been dimming it. That’s the sorting out.

So we go through this back-and-forth process, between the lower-self feeling that everything is personal, and the higher-self knowing that it’s not, for a long, long time. Eventually, we begin to feel, “Gee, I’m not sure if x, y, or z is really worth it anymore.”

All in all, we are still left having to get over, or beyond, something and we still have the dilemma of each day having to contend with it. To the degree to which we are good at sorting these things out and keeping a sense of balance in the outer, we find we can hold it together longer and longer, as we incorporate it into more of our waking life.

Then, along the way, a major, major shift in perspective occurs, and we start to realize that in order to get beyond the up-and-down rollercoaster, we have to attain a deeper letting go.

Tomorrow we will look into the transition from traveling toward god, to traveling in god.

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