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Posts Tagged ‘taking a test in a dream’

Why do we get angry? Well, there are surely thousands of books to explain this, but at its core isn’t it a disconnection from a flow – whatever flow we might be on? So much anger seems to arise from being stopped from where we want to go, whether that place is an emotion, or a resolution, or an accomplishment, or a relationship, or a connection. Perhaps it is disconnection that is the trigger, because something in our system naturally doesn’t want to be disconnected. This might be useful to keep in our conscious awareness. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The theme of the dreaming has to do with getting cut off from the stillness. Well, the meditation dream, and getting cut off, was the result of an accentuated conduct based upon me reacting and carrying on the other day like if I did, for all to see. An accentuated conduct that cast a spell upon my heart, that was the result of a reaction that was purposefully disrespectful, because I had my righteousness.

So, in this dream, I find myself taking a test in which there are 10 questions. I have four hours to complete the test. The test is based upon a natural, inner, heartfelt knowingness. I do the first seven questions in about two hours before I reach a point where I am cut off from what is naturally known. I’ve taken this test before and not gotten very far; the time would run out. This time, I have three questions left in about one and three-quarter hours; in other words, it took me just a shade over two hours to do the first seven just based upon an innerness that just knew.

So I have about one and three-quarter hours left to do the final three questions. I’ve also been given the Book of Life to refer to. I haven’t needed to use the Book of Life for the first seven questions because I have made that journey; I don’t have to go through the reflective repeating and this, that, and the other. There’s no veiling: the access was direct. 

But now, with these next three questions, I’ve reached kind of what was meant to be, so to speak, I’ve gotten to the point now where I will have to contend with where I am still stuck to catch up with those answers.

I don’t know if this is possible in the approximately one and three-quarter hours that remain for those three questions, even though the first seven were done in two hours. In other words, I’ve reached the point where something is veiled in regards to those three questions, in terms of my awareness, or connection, my access to the stillness, behind the journey, outside of the journey, or the Book of Life that is the manifestation of things. 

So I must do my best, and I’m about to adopt the viewpoint that this isn’t possible, when out of the corner of my eye I notice that you just finished, so it proves it can be done.

So the significance of the dream is, you might say, it has this quality of being able to note, feel, and hopefully let go. Those are like challenges for stillness to be there. However, if one is caught on the breath, in terms of some intensity, or rigidity, or righteousness, that stuns the overall oneness from mirroring out of the heart. Thus, stillness is lost.

When shut off from the stillness, you then get caught up in having to endure reflective patterns that accentuate a quality of hopelessness and bewilderment. So, in other words, you’re caught on the journey, some aspect within the journey – it’s on the breath.

This dream and meditation somewhat redeemed me from most, but not all, of the anguish associated with not fully adhering to the stillness of it all. I must walk through the door, so to speak, or not. That is my choice, it seems, at this point. 

In other words, I can tell how much I’ve been pulled out of this quality that I fell so deep in, but I can easily see myself go back into it again, too. It’s almost like I reserve the right to be outrageous, outrageously reckless. Or thus to repeat and repeat the same old patterns still holding me back – which are dumb and demeaning. So it’s almost like this is resulting in a type of seeing that is much like: what shall it be?

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dreamingWhat we see happening in the outer world can affect our dreams, and the message to us is the same: trust in the flow of life, rather than trying to control it. In fact, it seems the best way to be stable in an ever-changing environment is find that stability on an inner level. Then we can take it with us everywhere, and have it in any situation. To try to control external outcomes is a path to anger, frustration, and disappointment – all energetic states that disconnect us from the flow. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Because I’m probing out to gain a grasp of this, it has to be pointed out to me the foibles of such a thing, and that’s what the next dream does. It’s like 180-degrees from the big, big picture, and goes back to the here and now process of where I’m at and why it is that a human being can never ever, ever gain a kind of control over something like this.

In my sleep I see myself as confident that I can do good on a multiple choice test, which has to do with what is to unfold in manifestation. I feel this way based upon my understanding of the flow that is accessible from the inner and, as a result, I feel that I should be able to recognize the consequences more so than others. But what follows in this dream proves that that’s not necessarily so.

The dream is suggesting that I am still quite veiled by the reflective mannerisms of things in the outer, plus, in the near term, just how the inner is to unfold, the variables out there are so, so much, is designed to be out of my scope, in other words my capacities can’t handle that. That would be the mental capacities in this case and gaining an edge that way.

Because I’m developing more of an inner flow relatability, my problem has to do with the grounding needed in the outer in order to be effective. The outer is an area that I will always be struggling in. In other words, you have the inner and then yet still there’s the outer which is the counter flip side of the coin

So, in the dream, there is an average person that takes the test and passes it. It is a multiple choice test that is composed of ten questions, and then there are four choices that you choose from. So now it is my turn. And he just passes it; he doesn’t do any great shakes with the thing, and I’m confident I should knock it out of the park, or do a whole lot better.

And I take and I answer the first question, and I’m allowed to see how I did on that first question. And I got it wrong, right off the bat, and I’m shocked. Even though someone says it isn’t fair, I now seek to get a handle on the next four questions by looking ahead – but I can’t seem to retain the questions and the answer simultaneously as I glance at the answers. In other words, I have to go step by step, and I can clearly see what the answer’s going to be on the fourth or fifth question, but I can’t hold onto it because I haven’t caught up to that question yet, because it isn’t in the natural flow for me yet.

What I notice is I am unable to retain then, in this way, and I can sense, because I am now trying to get a handle, or a scope, or not be embarrassed by the fact that, for whatever particular reasons, I’m not able to depict what is going to happen next right here and now, even though I can have a scope of the inner. I get the sense that the way the questions are designed is I am caught up in a hit-and-miss capacity, and I’m unable to ground the knowingness.

I can’t translate this across when I even see the answer to the fourth or fifth question. I can’t translate it across until it’s there, so it just falls away from me. I’m unable to retain that information. And so I’m seeing that I’m not connected to my inner knowingness on a deep enough level to maintain the natural flow; in other words, a natural flow that I would like to say is something that one can take and dribble out beyond the present, and know this and this and that and that and that. It just doesn’t quite work that way.

I am shown this dream to point out that a human being never ever really knows what is going on. I know that keeping to the natural is where it is meaningful, and that my attempt to peel and reveal what I sense is unfolding is not how I am able to best proceed. I need to stick to my inner sense of things and be natural with that in terms of my actions – and the inner will be there, the inner will will be there.

I do not have to know in advance because this is inclined to cause me to go astray with myself. It is also the problem in the outer these days. Everyone’s trying to have a handle on it, and that keeps the duality going as one person is trying to offset another. In the process that everyone thinks that they can handle about things and therefore able to finesse short-term reactions and bring something in to a knowability that way. It doesn’t work that way. It can appear to work that way, but generally they’re big shifts that knock the dickens out of it and what has to happen remains to be seen.

I had this dream to settle myself down to stay in a natural flow and not let the up and down outer cycle of things sweep me away from this inner center.

What’s happening is there’s a huge number of steps in the outer that are being taken to try to finesse things in order to shape the image of things that has to do with the election, that has to do with the problems that are existing with the economies of the world slowing down, that has to do with man’s idea of how to try to keep and maintain some sort of stability that is on a little bit of a tilt. And the problem is, all of these things that man does are not going to work.

But in the short run, it can have and create the appearance of tremendous results, as if this is really, really effective, but it’s an illusory effectiveness because you can’t change what is intended to unfold. And one can feel what is intended to unfold, but how you’re able to take that in a day-to-day basis and translate that, and work with that, in the outer, you just don’t see the really big picture in terms of how that needs to be finessed into how all of this inner unfoldment needs to come through.

And the best I can do to understand this is that, in terms of the stuff that goes backwards and takes a step back and deals with more putrification and problems, is that it actually has a kind of compassion to it in that it allows a human being to kind of catch up with it. In other words, rather than be in a state of total confusion, they’re able to gain a sense that everything is busted. They’re able to come and see that, as opposed to getting hit in such a way that they just get angry, and they get bitter, and they shut themselves off even more. The whole goal has a compassion there to try to bring a person forward, and this is all happening from an inner level because from an outer level we’re still running around trying to control the outcome.

So, our nature of dreaming these days seems to be directly correlated to what is going on in the outer, and we’re getting bounced around in our dreams in relationship to still trying to… having a sense in the innerness of how something is coming, but having the predicament in the outer sense of still trying to struggle in some capacity and not stay attuned to a kind of inner caring or compassion that we can access.

It’s kind of like a statement that I think that’s in the Bible, that talks about the naturalness that a person needs to have. They need to have a kind of understanding: they’re a little bit like the lily in the field. What takes care of it? How does it get by? It doesn’t seem to be doing anything to fend for itself.

And so what we’re seeing is all this fending for itself in the outer, and attempts to gain some sort of advantage, or way, or angle on things – and none of that is going to be happening, or working. And every attempt to maximize some sort of little edge has a putrification quality that is running into a brick wall. And one has to be more like, however you would say this, the sense of the naturalness of the lily of the field. And, of course, one is not, and that’s why you have dreams and reactions and mannerisms now that are directly correlated to the state of things in the outer.

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by mario837

by mario837

Here John’s dream causes him to ponder the subtle differences of different religious teachings. Each has it’s own view of things and puts emphasis on different aspects, but all of them point to a journey that each human needs to make, by choice. In a sense, there are as many paths to God as there are people. It would be impossible for two people to do it in exactly the same way. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Previously, the way it’s generally characterized as a process is that you polish the heart and you go through sorting things out, that you have the outer reflections and then you have the dreamworld which has a faster inner reflection. And, in terms of sorting all of that out, you get towards what is the pure light that you don’t actually physically see.

And then you contend with all of these different states; states meaning all of the different things that you have to go through in the outer, or patterns you repeat over and over and over again, and slowly learn in kind of almost a quasi-Pavlovian way. And you gain kind of what’s considered a type of understanding there, in terms of what is okay, or what isn’t okay, in terms of how you beat yourself up and such.

And then on the inner reflections, as you’re dreaming, you don’t have the density of something with the senses accentuated so you can kind of have a little bit better proximity to what is happening and therefore can use that dreamworld to burn off the dross of some pattern if you can catch up with the vibration that sits behind the dream – of like the higher self or whatever, the quality of the soul behind all of that. And you can glean it, and bring it down, and bring it through. 

So initially what you’re doing is you’re going along with growing, by way of reflection, but what started to be pondered was, there’s one word in here that’s kind of used all the time in terms of this process and that is that you’re growing by way of reflection. So if it’s a reflection, and you’re dealing with reflections that are getting subtler and subtler and subtler all the time, who’s to say, or what’s to say, that you haven’t gone off on some little bitty deviation?

For example, just within Sufism you have the Naqshbands doing a dhikr one way and the Chistis doing it another way. And you have Christianity and it has its idea of afterlife and such, and then you have the Hindu and the Buddhist and all of them kind of have a similitude in terms of what the process of realization, I guess would be a word, is about but their process can be a little bit different. 

So, initially, in a dream, I was looking at this as if it was like a test. In other words, it’s like in a dream it starts off where I didn’t take the test, this particular test, at the same time that everybody else took the test. And these other people that took the test are fairly well-known people. I mean they could have been Buddha, Krishna, and Rama, and so on.

And out of that is a whole tradition and understanding that has evolved, and they each answered, let’s say, 100 questions. And they each got it as good as you can get it, with each having maybe two questions that would be treated a little differently, but ended up getting through this process of reflection and reflection, and ended up getting fairly close to what it’s all about, to 100%.

But they each varied a tiny bit just, like in the example between the Naqshband and the Chistis, you use the breath a little differently. You know, it’s “al” on the out-breath, “lah” on the in-breath for the Naqshband, and then it’s “al” on the in-breath, and “lah” on the out-breath.

Technically there is reflective experience there that gets you to the same place, almost as if the flip side is the same coin. Another thing that I noticed was with the Naqshbands you don’t have ceremonies, you don’t have music, you’re not told anything in terms of distinct practices. You’re supposed to kind of get it or, you know, if you’re suffering away, the word is, he can bear it, kind of thing. 

With the Chistis, as you’re proceeding along, you recognize the contractive forces, and the expansive forces, and you come to identify the nuances in them. And so it’s like a technique that a Chisti will do, a Naqshbandi won’t do this, but a technique that a Chisti will do will in-breath pain, out-breath joy as a means of trying to heal or redeem one’s self.

If you look at this stuff closely you can conclude that maybe we have a problem, and the problem is you have little, subtle deviations. The end result may be the same but maybe skewed, or slanted, or discolored a tiny bit based upon, say, two of the questions answered slightly different. No wrong answer, just a different note or quality.

And then those who have an affinity in that way are drawn to that, and so they evolve as a tariqa, as a sight, in that particular way. And so because I didn’t take this test simultaneously, and we don’t have the setup to give this test like this again, in other words, we don’t have the manifestation upon which one comes and sits down and takes those 100 question tests again.  It can’t be done that way.

And so the way it is done is, on my left hand I have 100 questions, and on my right hand I have a blank sheet of paper and then, because there’s no reflective process to work with, I’m given the answers that Buddha gave, Mohammed gave, Krishna gave, Christ gave, and I’m able to look at those answers and come up with what I want to put down as the answer. 

Now I have the process of life that I’ve gone through that has caused me to develop a certain awareness and whatnot, and I’ve burnt a bit, as the statement would go, so that I supposedly have gleaned some understanding and so I have that as a basis to work with but, you know, I’m going to defer because these people that have taken this test before me, there are some pretty renowned one’s there. 

Of course there’s others that I don’t know, and maybe one of these others that I don’t know maybe there’s a way that I will understand something from somebody even that I don’t know that might be better than the answer that Buddha gave that was slightly different than the way Christ approached it, or whatever.

And so in my sleep I’m thinking, easy peasy, I can cheat. How can I blow this? But when I wake up I realize this is very difficult because it means I have to incorporate the vibratory understanding of the entire tradition and lineage of each, in order to know the subtle distinction that exists in play with each little differentiation in terms of the overall unfoldment.

In other words, because this isn’t the path of just steadily getting better and better and better and better, subtler and subtler and subtler and subtler, this is a path that goes to what? A nonbeing, a nothingness, an emptiness, a stillness. And so if there is some little subtle area that is a little off – and who knows what the word “off” is? – it’s just ever so subtle of a ripple there, then that is going to cause the inflections and reflections to portray slightly differently.

And if you’re following for example a particular tradition, and the tradition is a real tradition and it goes somewhere real, and you need to have that tariqa or tradition in order to extricate yourself from the mundane because you, in and of yourself, are just going to be getting beat up by the density of the senses reflections and this gives you a bit of an advantage. It puts you into a vibratory atmosphere of which you can glean from that atmosphere a greater sight, a greater clarity.

And yet if each of these has little, slight nuances that are off, perhaps, in other words here comes the theory, perhaps, perhaps there’s a flaw to the plan, to the system, the system being that you go through and by reflections in the outer you catch up ultimately to the pure light, or to the total stillness. 

And what I’m seeing is that, it’s as if you could have a failed experiment here.  It’s as if you’ve gone about as far as you can go reflectively, and there’s always a little contamination. It’s as if we’ve come to a door and you jump through this door into a stillness.

Well, I’ve never actually literally done that because if I have something that’s going on in my dream, and I settle back, I’ll get another little subtle aspect to it. In other words, it’ll keep having a quality of getting subtler and subtler evolving in a way. In other words, even dreams that repeat all add some other little component.

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