Posts Tagged ‘the deep reservoir within’

John: So yesterday we looked at the first in this series of dreams (see Not Being There), and each subsequent dream progresses in a way that seeks to fix, or evolve, the situation into a better state, from within, but it’s still off. The general inspiration for these dreams is our recent transition from the Northwest to the city of Las Vegas, and our process of making adjustments within ourselves as a result of the different environmental factors

The next images have me preparing to meet with someone. I’ve spent more than 15 minutes trying to get my glasses clean because all kinds of weird stuff has fallen on them. I’m trying to scrape it off.

I see that I’m veering away from where I’m expected to go. When I get to a building, I realize that I still need some sort of metal object that can slice; I need something that’s strong and firm enough that it can cut through things. I must build it myself.

I have permission to go into an area where odds and ends are stored to select something that might work to help rectify the condition. I take out four objects in an effort to alleviate the situation. I think I can use a welding tool to cobble things into place, but what I’ve selected doesn’t work because when I apply any heat to it, it will melt or burn through the material. The tools I have do not have what it takes to hold something in place, so I’m using this material to create something that can slice through. 

Meanwhile, I need to set this project aside because I’m running late and I nearly compromise my principles because I’m under pressure. At the last minute I clean up after the work I’ve done.

In other words, I tried to cut a little of this off, I tried to burn a little of that off, and I made a bit of a mess. I pick up after myself and take what’s left of the implements – they need to be returned. They didn’t work for me, but maybe they can be used as components for something else. I look around to see if I can make anything else work for what I need.

Someone is coming over so I have to put everything aside for now. But instead of putting the tools into a closet or some drawers where they would best be kept, I put some of them into a refrigerator. I can straighten that out later, but at the moment I need to gain some composure for my meeting.

What is this showing me? Well, although I still haven’t accomplished what I was trying to do, I’m aware of what the problem is – I just haven’t acquired the proper tools that I need to be successful.

However, I do realize that I must look within myself for what I need, in order to find balance in the outer life. This will take time, but at least I’m looking around (within) for the tools to resolve the imbalance. If I were looking for the solution in the outer life, I would be in serious trouble.

In the next dream, the imagery moves further toward a sense of completion (after that, my dreams again start to deviate from it, showing that nothing is complete, all is just a step forward and then it all starts over again).

In this dream, I find a condo that I feel I can make into a place of balance. I notice that in doing this, other apartment units near mine start changing, shaping themselves up to be more in a balanced energetic.

So what had been a state of confusion and chaos, in terms of everything being too much to cope with (because of the sensory overload of Las Vegas), is now being brought into greater alignment. I see that I’m able to move about without feeling so lost.

What this adds to the scenario is that, if I take the time to look at what lies within – as an awareness, or as an answer – I’m better able to flow in the maze of the outer world. I’m learning how to hold onto and apply an inner connection that is able to reach into all that is before me.

And I’m starting to find the value latent within (the outer world of Las Vegas) that I ordinarily don’t reach (nor do most people). Nearly everyone in Las Vegas is expecting to catch up with the meaning of this place in some sort of outer reflection, and that is just a veil over what is really here.

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John: The beauty in this dream is that you’re really, really close to catching up with something (the dream being discussed is The Manuscript). The theme of the dream has to do with something that belongs to you, that’s embedded inside of you as a huge reservoir, that at some point was taken away or shut off from you. The time has arrived to come back to that after having been gone from it for a long, long time.

Whenever it was that this reservoir became veiled from you, it was veiled with a type of heaviness, a certain fear or reservation about coming back to it because of the way it was mishandled previously. Now that you’ve become lighter about it, you’re beginning to pick up some initial leakage of its energy. It’s shown in the quality of bending space like you do in the dream.

So you show this dexterity and joy in two ways: in the exuberance and playfulness with the rifles, and with the secretary pretending to be a common secretary, with an important manuscript lying out in the open. A part of you still carries the hiddenness, while another part of you has recognized that leaving everything out in the open is the best course of action. So when something is coming at you as a problem – that would be perceived by others as a problem – to you it can be exhilarating.

Jeane: You would have loved that energy.

John: That’s a tremendous space to be in, to be able to welcome the upheavals and everything that happens, as opposed to sitting there all jittery and scared, or panicky, or whatever characteristic surfaces when faced with problems. Instead, you embrace it:  It’s wow! This is incredible! It’s like seeing the whole potentiality of something, the whole opportunity to open up something else.


And so the very best way to open things up, in the most dynamic and expansive sense, is to be able to have this exuberance and joy at the moments when other people would be freaking out at the unfolding scenario. You are actually quickened by the whole thing. When that happens, there is even the natural humor built into it – waving in the SWAT team and basically saying “He went thataway!”

The ability to do that is the same sense of humor, slightly denser, of just hiding the manuscript in plain sight. Now, the subterfuge that that shows is still the problem. The idea that something has to be guarded and protected and can’t just exist in such a way that it’s naturally invisible. So you still feel you have to encapsulate it within an element of creative hiding.


In other words, you know how the dense world thinks, so you ratchet it up a little bit so you can out-maneuver the density with a little dexterity. The thread of that still originates from the idea that there’s something to safeguard. You want to get to the point where there’s nothing to safeguard. That’s what’s being shown with the guy running out there on the porch, but even in that there’s a part of you that can’t quite accept it so you end up with the guns pointed at him.

So there is a little flicker that still stands in the road to this, but it looks kind of small in comparison to the whole action. The whole action is a letting go. It’s a freedom. It’s a joy. There’s no tone or heavy mood that’s in the way. So, what opens up underneath is a huge, much fuller dimension in oneself, and that’s what you’re trying to get to. That’s what’s sitting there, just waiting to emerge, and it doesn’t take much.

We continue this discussion in: The Fall.

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