Disjointed From the Whole

disjointedWe can think about the world we live in and relate to as a series of dynamic relationships. For example, are we in harmony with our environment (whether at home or in nature), or are we estranged from it? What is the dynamic of our personal interactions? Are they mostly positive or negative – energetically? We should also consider that we are the only thing in any situation that we can control. So, do we choose flow, or do we choose disruptions? (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Well I was coming down with a cold last night so it affected my dream state. It felt like I had two dream cycles last night. One was about people in a singing contest and the other was about where they were both singing and dancing.

In the first where people were just singing, I was mostly studying the geometric pattern that existed in the background, which was a square.

And then when I was studying a theme about people trying out for musicals, when I was studying that, I was mostly studying the dynamics and the people in terms of like maybe one person getting a part, but another person not knowing that they had somebody ready to replace them or that would be an understudy if they were a problem.

John: Well you were identifying, or being in touch with, the cadence of that which has a whole, which means the first part in which you were looking at the energetic designs in relationship to how it fit into, you might say, the matrix of it all.

In other words, the spatiality of it all, which is a way of being that is natural, that is in accordance with how something is meant to be. And is a mannerism, if you want to call it a mannerism, that fits in and intertwines with the whole.

The reason why I say that if you want to call it a mannerism it actually can go all the way to a type of nonexistence in that its effect can be so subtle that, for a person who is not connected in this way, they would never notice the natural unfoldment as being an aspect of the whole.

And then the other part where you’re sitting and looking at the tryouts in life, in terms of their idiosyncrasies, and how it is that they are inclined to hold a note, or position, that is specific, that is defined, that carries a kind of loudness to its nature – you notice that that’s fairly common or, in other words, easily replaced, has very little actual effect.

And thus, in terms of it being memorable on a deep, subtle level that is intertwined with the whole, it is easy to forget to let go of that energetic because it’s disjointed from the tie-in that is imperative to a person who flows from a sense of knowingness that embraces the whole.

Could you see what I mean by all of that?

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Feeling Stranded

Explosion of imaginationIt’s very interesting to look at the dream imagery here and then contemplate the analysis. The character of John in the dream feels restless and walks away from where he is waiting for a ride somewhere. How often do we turn away from the moment we are in to soothe some personal need, desire or mannerism? And how often does it disconnect us from what is going on? We can see clearly how the beauty of life can be lost to us when we succumb to our personal peccadillos. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: There is a certain mannerism that I carry that gets in-between this whole process, in other words, that can cause me to dip in and out of the reality of having stepped through a door, so to speak, and then coming back to the senses of the physical. And that’s what this dream kind of talks about.

Because I’m having to wait for my ride to take me away from the place I’m at, in which it’s like a place of study or something – there are other students – and some other student has the vehicle, and that student has something that they have to fiddle with and is not ready to leave. So I take a walk.

I’m ready to go, but feel I’m kind of put out if I just wait, so I just decide that rather than wait, which is kind of like to me wasting time, I’ll take a walk. First of all I end up at a place where I can’t seem to get my pants on right or something, and then that progresses to a place where there used to be a hot springs there.

And it’s actually a very historical spot and has this red clay natural wonder. This red clay slopes out, and then there’s the spring area that makes it really kosher as an oasis, and then the red clay extends out from that.

Well, man has come along over time and has been messing with the red clay, has been rearranging it, and taking it away because, for some reason, he has a concept of something better. And in the process, of course, whatever concept he has the hot springs no longer exist either. It’s just a pool of water that he has made even harder to contend and deal with because you have to go from one side of it to the other side, from one portion of the natural clay wonder to the other, what little there is left, and there’s no hot springs, there’s no nothing.

The area where he disturbed it isn’t even deep enough to be able to properly swim in as a pool even – so it’s no longer a hot springs center. The flow’s been plugged. Everything is controlled. I need to cross from the side that I’m at, the clay portion where I’m at, to the other side because I know that I have to get to that other side in order to get back to where I belong that’s on the way back to where I can catch this ride.

And I don’t have a way to contact the person who’s giving me the ride, and I have this belief or figure that because they compelled me to have to wait for them, it is now their turn to wait for me. But there’s a problem with this way of thinking, in terms of an adab, because at least they use modern technology to stay in touch with themselves, like a cellphone or something. All I’m using is I think I can gauge this by feel: that I’ll get back in time. They’ll have to wait a little bit because obviously I can’t gauge it perfect, but it won’t be such a degree that it will put them out to the point that I won’t get back in time, so that they won’t be having to leave without me or something strange like that.

But now all of a sudden I have a problem. I’m now realizing that no one knows where I’m at, figured I’d get back in time, but that’s a problem now because I need to immediately be heading back to where I belong. I mean I could sense inside of myself that the jig is up. And I’m not able to do that in a timely manner because to do that I would have to cross this area which man has disturbed, that used to be a natural wonder in its day, and now there are all these rules, regulations, and controls that are the established protocol that are being perpetuated.

So eventually I realize enough is enough in terms of abiding by such manmade carryings on that project these rules, guidelines, and protocols that are intended to be for the general good but, as I look around, all I see is how the natural wonder of the place has lost its meaningfulness to the point that getting back to where things need to be in a timely manner has gotten lost.

So a frustration sets in. I reach the point where I can’t take it anymore, whether the powers that be at this place like it or not, I have to leave from here and get back to where I belong. In other words, I had been sitting there waiting for them to be able to give me the green light to go; doing this just places me deeper and deeper into a conundrum.

So, because I have to get across this waterway, and maybe there was a boat or something that would have helped me if I’d have waited, I can’t wait so I take off my pants and cross the waterway to what is left of the clay monument wonder on the other side.

From there even though I suddenly realize that I no longer know anymore how to get back from there. It’s kind of in the right direction, but then how do you proceed? All I could do is hope that I’ll just start walking, keep walking, and it will all somehow come back to me. I do not have any other option anymore. I have stayed here too long and am in desperate need to get back. My waywardness has gotten to a point that I am now confused as to how to take the next step.

The main part of this dream is the sensation. The main issue in the dream at every phase is my inability to be still. Only when I am at ease with myself am I able to be in touch with a natural flow. My restlessness carries me away on a tangent.

Nothing I experience when astir like this does anything for me. The disturbed anxiety I carry inside seems to be projected wherever I go, so much so that the natural beauty and wonder of creation has lost its incredibleness as my conduct estranges me from a wholeness more and more.

See this is all feminine kind of dreaming, how the feminine sees things. What started out as being nothing more than taking a walk to kill time, as I wait for other parts of myself to get their act together, has gotten to the point that I no longer know how to get back to where I belong. And where I now have traversed to as a result of getting lost or misaligned in my approach has taken me to what’s a glorified mess. I use the word glorified because this is a wonderful spot but it’s now a mess. It’s been disturbed.

The reason for the dream is my restive nature that shuts a flow off is stranding me more and more. I need to realize that even though I think what I am doing makes sense, that it is causing me to be even further estranged from a connection that is even more important.

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An Intertwined Connection

kiThese dream images invoke the need to be intertwined with creation. What prevents such a natural state? Well, when we’re too intertwined with the outer world we cut ourselves off from the whole. Does that mean we must forsake the world to spiritually develop? No, the greatest service is to be in the world, but not be of it. In other words, don’t take it personally. The life of the culture and society is not why we’re born here. We need to be in the whole in an inner way. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: And then in the dream, I am required to finish a kind of a task, or assignment, whether it’s term paper or just what it is, because it has a bit of a setting at a university in order to finish the image. And there’s only one condition: I’m not allowed to have certain identified limitations.

In other words, this is an assignment that has, as a guideline for what I am to do, this requirement. And in order to drill it in, I even see it written on a placard, and I notice that it’s supposedly an ancient quote of Plato. I’m surprised to see and hear it.

In other words, it is a direction pointed for the journey I am on, in other words as my assignment or guidance, and I also see it written on a plaque on the wall, as the one thing you cannot do. Other than that there are no rules.

How this is going to work out, I am not sure because the specifics of identification do not exist. In other words, in this dream I have not plugged into any defined curricula that I can say is definite and distinct that I go to, and that I do, and that I remember. I see others going to and fro, and I can pause thinking that I should be like that, but then I realize that I have not been carrying on like this for so long in the outer that I don’t know where to go. What the class is. I don’t have a good sense of how I’m handling time in that regard anymore.

And so how do I change, or remember, some limiting protocol that I have failed to comply with? Well, maybe it’s because that hurt me to comply with it, because just the glance back at it causes one to shrink. So on that level of looking at what is going on with everyone else around me, and my involvement in that, I’m not there. I have fallen off to one side from all of that; I’m somewhere else.

The sinking feeling of looking at that like I should be there, that sinking feeling keeps me from realizing that I just can’t do that that way. In other words, this is like repeating the guidelines of what occurred before in which I can’t do anything specific. I have to take on the assignment in the overall which flows through me in an undefined way, this being how it is meant to be both according to Plato and the guidelines I am under.

Also as a meaning is I am immersed in an overall that I am trying to make sense out of. I cannot do it if I dwell upon anything in particular. I am meant to be in an intertwined flow. If I am not, I am disjointed and am unable to be comfortable in my whereabouts.

And then I had this other dream that portrayed me holding an inner energetic in spite of things being chaotic all around me. And the way the image was, was I’m in a chair and I’m sitting against the wall trying to be quiet – just sitting in the chair. I don’t want to do anything that looks too out of place, so at least I’m okay with the image of just sitting in the chair with my eyes open – looking around, but not necessarily involved with others, just being in a quiet space.

And other people around me are acting like they’re enjoying themselves. They’re carrying on this way and that way, partying, drinking, carousing, gossiping, and at times it’s even spilling over and as they’re trying to get my attention, and get me to bite off and go into their antics, and it’s hard for me to maintain a presence that is connected to the flow of an inner energetic.

In other words, that sort of thing is pounded out at me in my direction. In other words, they’re all into their camaraderie or whatever it is, and I seem to be the quiet one off to one side. They can’t have that because they’re carrying on like they’re carrying on. But at some point I realize that I’m wavering and need even more focus and attention.

I get rid of the chair that I’ve been sitting on and, instead, sit on the ground in meditation so that I can actually go somewhere beyond all of that. And under this more quiet pose, I can maintain the inner space. But as time progresses the evening comes up, everything recedes, and then the entire area around me becomes a space where bedrolls are laid out.

And I realize that this has always been like this, and everyone has a claimed, specific place for their bedroll. It’s as far as you can see. And a young girl lays her bedroll in front of me where I am sitting, and I come out of my inner depth to talk to her.

She’s okay with what she was doing, ordinarily, though, her bedroll comes to the wall where I am sitting so this adjustment is going to set off a chain reaction shift to accommodate that. In other words, if she shifts, others are going to have to shift because she shifted into their space a little bit – because she didn’t have the spot that I am sitting on.

I’m the only one that’s sitting. Everyone else is going to be going to sleep. I didn’t realize that this would happen when I chose the spot to sit, so I am contemplating if I should leave or move, although I do not know where to go because the whole area, as far as I can see around me, is spoken for – so I wake up.

The meaning is to connect inside to a more inclusive inner flow is to relate to the whole in such a way that preexisting patterns naturally shift. And it also answers the question of the very first thing coming out of meditation in terms of: whose fault is it?

In other words, you could easily see, okay, the reason why you’re continuing to carry on and having troubles and anxieties and getting caught up in things is because you’re not getting the memo, something isn’t given to you.

And it goes on and on and on and on and on like this, and whose fault is this that you still see yourself doing things that you don’t really, when you really look at yourself, quite accept?

And the full sequence of the dreaming answers that question as well. It points out that you have the means to take and go into an intertwined connection, and you just have to adhere to that -and it all works.

But, if you’re unwilling to adhere to that, and feel that you can go off this way and that way and look at life in relationship to everything through the senses, then how can you complain? This is what you chose. And when you shift, it’s all there. It’s all provided and made available to you in as simple a format as can be possibly imagined.

But you have to allow that to be. It just doesn’t get imposed upon you. If you want it imposed upon you, then you would do something in terms of a natural realness. So nothing is straightaway influenced, and so you can’t attribute fault in the way that a person attributes fault in terms of evaluating things in terms of how they have to work out in terms of one’s understanding through the senses.

You just have to adopt the space, and hold the place, where you’re meant to be, that is cycled within, that has to do with the over body of the wholeness of yourself that is intertwined. And then everything shifts accordingly. That’s just how it works. It doesn’t work the other way around where you can complain about it having to work out, and be this way, or that way as if you’re entitled to defining things like that.

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