Letting Go of Expectations

earthy-spirals-fractal-This imagery shows us the relevance of a dream to both real outer events and universal truths. As humans, we often think that things are solved by doing – we must always be doing more to feel satisfied. Yet that can get in the way of our ability to feel and experience in the outer world, and it can prevent us from our connection to the Whole in universal terms. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Even though I dreamt last night, I’m still having trouble pulling it out. The only thing I remember is the last part of the last dream. 

In that dream my father’s down here with us, and I’ve gone somewhere, maybe to a doctor’s appointment that’s about an hour away – and he’s with me. And when I come out of the appointment I went to and get in the car, suddenly dad wants to go visit my nephew in L.A. And I start getting upset about that because it seems too far to drive to L.A., plus to have to drive an hour home.

And I don’t have my stuff with me and everything, so I’m really starting to fuss about it. And then I look at my dad and I see that, in some ways, this is just all a joke to him. Anyway, that was when I woke up.

John: What we’re being questioned and challenged about, in some inner way, and I guess we’re lucky that this can happen, it’s as if we see something at a depth inside, at a touching of the heart inside, that we’re catching on to the gig of our doingness.

You would never catch on and you’d continue to keep following a checklist, and doing this and doing that, and going through these patterns and habituations. You actually believed that there was value, true value, in doing something like that – but after a while that just becomes a nausea.

In fact, you can step back and you can look at people and realize that almost wherever you look people’s lives come to an end after having gone through a whole consequence of notionalities and mannerisms for a whole lifetime.

And so you’re using your father to symbolize something of a greater Whole, and you’re using a certain heartfulness that your father carries because he reflects the patriarchal overallness of his nature that is a deep honor and actual inner divinity, symbolically speaking.

And looking in that particular direction, it is easy to think that you have something more to do, as if something more is expected of you, as if there is something in the surroundings in the environment of the outer that is expected of you.

And it’s like, as you experience more and more of a kind of closeness, you think that you need to do things like a kind of responsibility or something, like paying dues for what has occurred – as if it’s doing a type of service. Because part of all of this that is going on, of which your father is a link, because your father again represents a type of divine overallness of being, coming through as a particular being, you find yourself trying to serve that particular being instead of the Whole.

What’s meant to happen is, if you’re really experiencing something at a depth inside of yourself that connects through the teacher, or the tradition, or the lineage, or however you would say that, if you’re truly experiencing this, then you come to know, just like your dad laughs and jokes at you, that deep down he really doesn’t want to do this or that.

He just wants the overall expression of something that resonates and feels wonderful as a Wholeness, as an emptiness, as a letting go. He just wants that to resonate. He just wants that to be pervasive, but he’ll go along with whatever it is that you’re inclined to do, until you catch up with the fact that it isn’t what you set up and determine to do that is real.

It is the degree to which you hold a mutual oneness space between you. And so somehow you know this because in your dialogue with your dad you come to the recognition that as soon as you quit this notion of having to do this or that, in order to be at peace about something, that you will find that everything, everything sits in this letting-go state, in a Wholeness way, which permeates outside of mannerisms or characteristics of one’s design.

Which leads me to think you know like if you have your dad come down here, what he is reflecting as a part of him is clearly somewhere else in his depth of being. You’re doing a service by compelling him to have to go to hither and to thither and to see this and to see that.

Instead, your dad is better suited if he is able to kind of just go around feeling things. It’s kind of an illusion to think that when you bounce from here to there to there to there that you’re actually having experiences, or feeling things.

The notionality that more needs to happen interferes, and everyone buys into that, and as a consequence that sense of an appreciation of something in a state of Wholeness, in a state of rest, in a state of an emptiness, gets compromised, and the idea of this or that needing to happen comes into the equation.

It’s this expectation stuff that estranges things, because there’s something about tweaking an expectation that creates a giggle or a wrinkle, and a looking forward to things, that we seem to have to have. We haven’t yet learned how to just sit in a place of peace inside of ourself and be completely full there.

And until we do that, we continue to project and throw ourself around in manifestation in a way that undermines or compromises that space, which is the only real space, and the only real note, and the only real way of being, and is the fullness of breath. It’s not just an out-breath only having to scope about. It’s the in-breath that’s also able to sit in the peace or bliss of itself.

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Full of Myself

John: My dream dealt with similar themes as yours (see The Dance of Life), but instead of it being a literal dream, it was more a repetition of images that had a simplistic nature about them.

The simple images were ones that felt controllable in terms of how I would like to see them unfold, yet at the same time they felt incomplete. I was always getting a barrage of images that had more going on in them – they were multidimensional – and they kept me off balance.

The simple images had to do with my personal well being, and making choices; they felt good. The more complex ones led to a greater outcome – they actually took into account the past, present, and future of Creation all at the same time. They are more about the core of things than the details of things.

What I’m saying is that if I’m allowed to shape the outcome (of the simple images) so that they make sense to me, in order to keep from confusing and complicating my life, that’s when I fail to appreciate the fullness of existence, and I remain unaware of what is unfolding.

Said another way, I’m only looking at what I want to look at, instead of seeing all that is going on. I’m not allowing other aspects to have their importance. I’m trying to steer things according to what I want and think feels right.

The more complex images have all kinds of possibilities going on simultaneously. I haven’t filtered them by my personal choices. These images have complexity and combinations that aren’t defining or screening things out – they take everything into account and portray life more as it actually is.

So the images that portray what I want to believe or see are personally chosen by me, and are limited by the veils of my own defense mechanisms. Those veils allow me to feel safer, more protected, less confused, and more at ease with everything, but I’m giving up the big picture. In doing so, I lose the ability to function on other levels, i.e., I’m not able to see the signs of God (so to speak) that provide me with information about these other levels and the whole, simultaneously.

If I limit myself to my own perspective, it’s like drinking my own Kool-Aid – I’ll never really know what’s going on. It’s drinking from a cup that’s full of myself. To expand out of myself, and to access these other levels, is to accept the flow in all of life, a flow that leads to a greater perception of the whole.

A human being isn’t able to know what’s going on when they’re caught in personal perspectives, because those perspectives are just images that we shape to fit our expectations – they stifle the natural processes of life.

Our veils can only be removed when we accept everything in life. The world is like a great painting – the surface may seem flat, yet there is a much larger experience available to us when we explore the hidden depths within.

When we only see what we want to see, we deafen ourselves to the call of the greater process in which we exist. We foolishly do this because we don’t have a real understanding of our wholeness. If we did, we could push right through the veils and begin to drop the defense mechanisms and personal barriers that we think are so important.

This was a hard dream to write up.

Life is Complete

John: In this dream I find I am a soldier caught up in some war (exactly where is not specified). It is one of those situations in which there’s no way of resolving this conflict in a meaningful way. Everything is in a state of being very, very tense and oppressed.

I’m doing the best I can to maintain my equilibrium inside. The situation is so nonsensical that I can’t let what is going on get to me, or I could crack up. Nothing about the situation is getting better, it’s only getting worse.

So the key for me is to not dwell upon every detail. If I do, then the outer events themselves would overwhelm me. Instead I recognize that nothing is working out and find a counterbalance inside of me. So I am trying to sustain an inner balance that is neither fully in the world nor completely out of it.

I have become non-judgmental; I know better than to let the collective consciousness of the dire situation prevail. I respond with an inner resolve that remains composed and unwounded. It’s like a trade-off is reached. It’s not a solution, but no matter what happens, I am able to level out. The details no longer matter.

On an energetic level it’s like being in a state of calm and rest, like living in the eye of the storm.

Then I find myself going through a mess hall or gathering place where other soldiers are hanging out. A general walks into the room and announces that the mission is complete. I think about the circumstances as they exist in the outer, and I react. I become incensed (more incensed than I have ever been in a dream).

Still I’m somehow composed and very clear. I yell at the general: “Complete! Is that the line for the people back home?”

The general gets mad, which makes me even more furious. If he thinks I’m going to back down simply because he’s inconvenienced by my opinion, it’s not going to happen. Others may quiver or acquiesce, thinking that will protect them, but I don’t care.

I carry on some more. “Complete! We’re barely breathing!” As I rant and rave I realize that all the other soldiers have left the room and it’s just the general and me. When I have exhausted every invective I can hit him with, he suddenly gets up and leaves the room.

I feel there is no ill will between us; everything has been flushed into the open. He has heard it and I said what needed to be said. I then go across the hall into another room. The soldiers there seem to be relieved for some reason. No one is looking at me in shock or carries any mannerism about what has taken place.

In fact, a cordiality and acceptance seem to exist. I might still be a little worked up, so this is a bit of a surprise to me. The area I am in seems to be a place where you can take a shower if you want (signifying a kind of letting go of things).

A fundamental aspect of this dream is showing us that our ideas about how something should turn out, our expectations of specific results, can often become part of the problem.

The dream is showing that the solution to everything we experience in the outer world is to be able to be in the midst of it – no matter how dire the circumstance –and still be okay. We put huge stresses on ourselves, and others, when we try to impose our expectations on an outer reality that isn’t matching. It’s better to maintain an inner equilibrium and calmness in ourselves, and deal with the situation as it is.

It’s the concept of holding within the heart both extremes, but moderating them in a space of completeness. And that’s what the general is actually saying: Life is complete. When outer circumstances are no longer able to throw a person into chaos, it is complete.

A situation may be dire on a physical level, yet on an energetic level there is a natural balance that prevails, that is neither fully embracing the outer world, nor fully withdrawn into the inner self, but somewhere in between. This balance can actually allow one’s feelings of despair or hopelessness to drop away.

The fact that in the dream I was ranting and raving was a process of flushing out, which then allowed me to reach the understanding of what completeness is about. The general was a representation of the higher self, and he was actually correct – the thing is complete.

Even in the real world we have adopted this way of announcing when the game is over. And there may be some truth in that, even though there is some tomfoolery. But ultimately, in this image, behind the surface appearances, is a lot of truth.