Our Hallucination

201844One perspective to have on our human incarnation is to think of ourselves as visitors here. As a visitor we rarely put down deep roots, and we wouldn’t get too caught up in the local politics, or the local drama. We are merely passing through and observing, experiencing what is possible in a human vehicle, and most of all, learning and witnessing what it means to be in the physical – while always remembering that the physical isn’t really who, or what, we are. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In the meditation dream, I am taking an energetic projection to a perceived outer unfoldment aliveness. In other words, the thought comes down, and then you keep working with it until you have it into an aliveness – which is in the outer. 

I’m not saying that this is good; I know that this is taking one away from the stillness, but that’s what I’m doing: I’m making a thought alive, or causing it to be an aspect of manifestation. Another way of saying what it is that I’m doing is to say I’m creating existence as a perception of alive just by taking an identification, that is irrational, into substance form – because identification is irrational. Stillness is the only thing that makes sense. 

So, deep down, I know that an inner consciousness cannot be limited by time and space projections. In other words, when you’re taking it down you’re into a time of space projection; you got it into a substance form. And deep down I know that what is really real, inner consciousness or the stillness, isn’t bounded by that. To take an intensity to a non-still place is to veil who I am from the stillness. 

To be caught up by such a modality, to the point where I am affected by it – as if real – is spirit energy. Spirit energy is a form of cracking up; in other words, it’s where you lean on things, and whatnot. It’s where you hold out upon something. It’s where people will often say, is there something more than themselves? That’s a form of cracking up, a failure to take responsibility is a form of cracking up. That’s where you’re not able to be literally in things, and you’re able to alibi out. 

To be caught up in spirit energy projections, made manifest, is a sad story. On the other hand, an amazing story is to be in the midst of what is losing it’s all-pervasiveness as a stillness, and be unwaveringly aware that this is an illusion. Any substance, per se, is held together by an intensity of the imagination. And that quality of imagination, or the way you feel something, is a delusional spirit energy. 

When I take away such a projection and the holding on of the projection by an illusory force of will, the result is: nothing will exist. Existence is a magnified resonance that is taken into time and space and embodied; existence being manifestation, which is a hallucination. Everything in the outer is our hallucination – the collective consciousness.

So what I am seeing and observing is a sustainable consciousness is a stillness, and that sustainable consciousness cannot exist if there is a projected vibrational presence that is accentuated. The net effect of this context of trying to accentuate a vibration and make it somehow or another viable, or workable, a doingness, is a form of vanity. It is a foolish insanity held together by a vibrational projection imagined to be more subtly powerful.

The reason why you do what you’re doing is because you think you’ve got something figured out, which is being irresponsible to the universe – and a meandering for the sake of a kind of mausoleum of self. 

The spiritual illusion can exist for the teacher, as well, and be deceiving of the soul, whenever there is something that has to be done, like a doingness, because it’s not who you are. The idea of an otherness, or a doingness, in an outer sense, like I say, that’s hallucination. So the question is, is it important to magnify a hallucination to a point where the hallucination can touch others – whilst in an even more bifurcated way? 

An example of that is, certain spiritual illusions, like spirit energy, can do that. For example, you could be in one state where things are more confusing, and the area is more bizarre, we’ll say, and then move to… well there’s a nice little kind of spirit energy. It has its limitations, but it’s better than being all twisted and tormented. 

The theme of this dream, when  everything is stripped out, is that nothing exists but stillness. In other words, one’s just looking at an aspect of something that one could take on as having a type of validity, which is a spirit energy. To talk about stillness, in a manipulated way, is an hallucination.

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Hiding the Inner

piercing-the-veilWhat are these psychologies we create? In many instances, they are mechanisms we adopt to help us cope with the struggles in our personal relationship with the world. And, because they are mechanisms, once created they become more and more automatic in us, to the point where we don’t even notice when they are being activated. But what may have, at one time, protected us, can now become our greatest barrier to letting go to the naturalness we have inside. This, in turn, prevents us from realizing our possibility.  (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The next dream takes… you know, that’s kind of a big gulp, so the next dream takes and puts it into a process orientation – in terms of what’s going on. And this dream is very similar to your second dream involving the babies that need to be cleaned up, and, instead, your attention is going to dishes or something that are dirty; the outer.

So, in this dream, with the failure to bring the inner into the outer still fresh as a memory, I try something else. I act as if I can balance the inner in a kind of center area within. In other words, rather than bringing it through – because it failed every time I tried, it doesn’t come through – so I’m going to counterbalance it now, which is similar to like pretending that it’s held in the heart off to one side or something, as kind of a symbolic-ness, of the inner, and what it’s about, having to do with something there that is in a different octave. And with this attentiveness, pretend that I can work in a one-to-one correspondence, instead of bringing it through, thinking that what I do then, in terms of an outer motif of myself, will work now.

And so in looking at what I am doing I find it strange that I still think that I can apply subrogation to make something happen the way I want. Subrogation is when you repress a part of yourself, where I’m repressing something in terms of keeping something in a tentative balance within, instead of letting it come to bear. And, when you suppress something like this, you’re actually hiding the inner quality, or the inner reality. You’re hiding it from being up front and straightforward. And, when you do that, you think you can change.

This becomes man’s way of controlling things, or having a personal identity, to change the outer to some degree. With subrogation the seeming change does not last as, eventually, what is pent up leaks out and disturbs, and changes the psyche of the overall. I mean, it doesn’t change the psyche of the overall, it brings the overall back into a cadence that is meant to be. Until that occurs, however, the energy it takes to set up this make-believe scenario actually drains a human being of their natural free flow clarity, and that draining, that subrogation, that’s what a veil is. That’s the dumbing down, that’s the veil.

So as the dream continues hoping that an inner tentative balance will hold, because I’m actually balancing with something in here. It’s actually a sensation of balancing it as I stretch into the outer, as if that’s going to balance. I mean it’s more hope, and belief, and imagination than anything at all – because why should it stay balanced?

I proceed to do the same thing as in the meditation dream, which is bring the inner into the outer except, this time, I have shut off, with the subrogation, the neurotic cellular memory centers, because everything about you is alive and connected to a wholeness, that know how to differentiate, and define, an echo to the heart – a self-evidence that is needed.

What I am doing is, in effect, deceiving and lying to myself – but not completely, because deep down within there is a truth, that is pent up, that tends to cause a type of self-consciousness echo, but, in the outer, you don’t hear it very clearly. And it comes across in subtle ways and, eventually, it will break through. It’s too hard to hold this subrogated energy back.

Eventually you let your guard down, or you get speeded up in some way in which the energy is, and to keep the lie and the repression in place, you lose the handle of that and it leaks out. And that epiphany can be pretty shocking if you’ve been on this abstraction hard enough.

So when the repressed energy rises to the surface there is collateral damage, and the degree of that is based upon how far you’ve gone in this bifurcated way, in terms of self-deception. And it also is depended upon the degree to which you’re able to catch up with the subtleness. You know, to some degree you tend to keep certain veils in place so that you can absorb the impact; still a collateral damage, nevertheless, but maybe it’s measured out.

So there is a collateral damage, and this is a collateral damage that’s both on the inner and the outer level. When it happens on the outer level, it’s also reverbing to the inner, and so when it comes across what had been repressed comes into the outer and, if this happens too suddenly, instead of as a slowly awakening alignment and inner consciousness process, the effect can be quite traumatic. That’s what’s going on.

And so then as kind of a discussion, or meaning of it, in the meditation dream I am in a raw energy state when I try to bring inner into outer. I’m not able to do so, which is self-explanatory in the meditation dream. In the sleep dream, I go about my business in a personal way, rather than as a oneness in which all is taken into account, both above and below, simultaneously. I veil the problem thinking I can deceive the oneness.

Such subrogation creates the illusion that an energetic change has been created, but as Einstein said, energy is neither created, nor destroyed, it just changes its form. The form I have created is a deadening of consciousness in order to veil myself from the overall intertwined knowingness.

Deep down the heart knows better, but until I reach, and acknowledge, the heart, instead of the mind outer sense orientation, as a reality, the veil and its corresponding ignorance predominates. So, to put this bluntly, I have just described the veiling process that a human being does in order to set up a personal coping mechanism, separate from the whole.

And then this next dream has to do with how it gets fixed.

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A Merged State

blue-angelWe could consider the whole of our spiritual journey as a process of getting a more and more detailed view of what is going on behind the veils of outer life. And, as we make that journey, deeper and deeper within, or higher and higher up the energetic planes -depending on your perspective – we get closer to the essence of where it all began. Or at least we can get glimpses of what that can feel like. And perhaps that is what our true feelings of love are a reflection of, the sense of completion of being with the merged state. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So I’m explaining that I let my mind wander when I woke up, and he’s explaining why I forgot it.

John: I can tell kind of why you would forget something like this because of the nature of the way the theme of the dream was. The tendency, whenever you go back, and the theme of the quality of the evening was going back into kind of a depth of one’s self that was outside of time and space, in which there’s kind of a merging that takes place.

Now ordinarily we live in the outer in a way, and in a manner, of diversity. And so whenever you experience the merged essence, it can almost be embarrassing. In other words, something that is that wide open is almost so vulnerable that some part of us, ourself, in trying to sustain some diversity, has to obliterate it in terms of holding onto a separation.

So when you take and you have a dream, or vision, that goes into a place in which everything comes into a quality of an overall vibration, that takes in everything, that absorbs the diversity of one’s nature, it’s very, very hard to remember that. And, to remember that, you have to hold onto, at a great, great, great depth inside of yourself, some subtle reflection that is in there yet.

And then, when you can hold onto that subtle reflection, you can take that subtle reflection and recognize that that subtle reflection is also vibrationally absorbed, and correlated, and intertwined with the essence of something on a universal level that permeates all that there is.

So to have an experience of something to where everything falls into the vacuum of an absorptive state is very, very hard to remember because it’s going back to almost the original, it’s coming back closer and closer, in fact it can go all the way back to the original vibration from which everything then breaks free into its multiplicities in outer life.

So the closer you come back to something that is of this absorbed, subjective, inner essence, the more you have to put up with the diversity dichotomy of thoughts that want to go the other direction – back into the multiplicity – because it’s hard to uphold one’s self in a livable way in this mannerism because your control is not there. And the way you are able to let yourself be doesn’t correspond with how you’re mental sense nature would like to portray yourself.

So it is always creating a reflection that gets in the way. And what you have done to get there, is you have taken whatever the reflection is, and caught up with the vibration behind it, and got swept into that essence. And then, if you’re lucky, you’ve come to learn that where that vibration say at 70% effect, and to the degree to which the outer senses vie for a space in the heart, that when you take and recognize on the subtlest of levels, we’ll call it a 5% that is like a reflection, and can also find the vibration within that that ensues from somewhere else, that is when you make great depths with yourself.

And that process of doing that is called polishing the heart. Now when you polish the heart you create the lens and the mirror to see what a human being really is, somewhere else, in a totally merged oneness.

So it’s unusual, it’s not unusual, it’s just a fact of nature that when one falls into a merged essence state the intensity of the energy is like too much to handle. And so whatever is still sitting there as defense mechanisms rise up to try to take one outside of resting and being in this uncontrollable way of being.

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