Expansion of Self

When we are young we go out into the world to make our way. Later in life we may place more importance on inner experiences. Things burst into life in spring, and go more quiet in the fall. We have the Big Bang, and we have stars being vacuumed up by black holes. There is an out-breath and in-breath process going on at all levels. In our journey we try to subjectively understand life and the universe, but, later on, we try to integrate ourselves into the energetics of everything. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Because my sleep dream will probably correspond to yours, before I forget it, the sense that I had in my sleep dream was seeing things that I would have to try to take in, or get close to, in a kind of bringing into oneself kind of way. 

And because this is more of an inner trait it’s harder to remember dreams like this because it’s not like there is a type of affliction, or something, or out-breath conundrum. It’s more of a taking-in expansiveness, on an in-breath level, which is one’s way of permeating; it’s a way of working with kind of a pulling of something into oneself, as opposed to an energy that is constantly projecting out – like in an out-breath way. 

And, when it’s like that, it is a sensation of taking in and going into things. And it’s expansive. And it’s done almost as if it’s a ravenous need, in that, over and over again, like that state was such in which I was continually seeing this sort of thing going on so it was a little awkward or odd, I guess, to think that I would wake up and write it up as a dream because it had this different semblance to it.

And it’s something that, when it’s like that, because it’s kind of absorptive and soothing, even, to do something like that, maybe soothing isn’t the right word, you kind of go along with getting lost in all of that, just like a going into matter, or something, or getting lost in all that as an expansion of oneself. It’s another kind of grogginess, in a way. 

In other words, one’s inclined to kind of be swept in, pulled in, and so you’re inclined to sleep more. When the dreams were different, that had to do with out-breath stuff, it was like they quickened something that kind of had you at a point that was, well, even though they, too, were difficult, and could be also something hard to see and pull out, there was an animation, a vibratory animation, almost a kind of momentum, to the vibration of that. As opposed to this being something that involves a type of sweeping up and sweeping in.

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The Activation Point

Jeane’s feelings of alienation continue in today’s dream, but here we see that those feelings trigger a journey to incorporate, harmoniously, the masculine and feminine aspects within, yet also give us a glimpse of the greater dance of the universal gender energies. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: My dreams last night appeared to have been affected by two things. One is that for the last couple of days I’ve been fighting off either a sinus infection, or a little sore throat, and it’s kind of aggravated by being in hotels all the time, and by the fact I watched Avatar again last night.

So in my dream, it feels like I’m in a society where I’m beginning to help with things but I’m actually an alien, or they’re aliens, and we’re trying to integrate in a way so that what that does is that when I do things it’s always making my body hurt. Like I’m trying to do a process that actually is like participating in something ordinary, or moving something through the body, but there’s always what should feel good at some point right now hurts because it’s an alien energy I’m working with, or I’m an alien. It’s very hard to tell which.

So whatever I sweep through, even though I know that there are points when it can feel good, and there are times when I can get it to feel good frequently, it actually feels off, or painful, because it’s still alien and then that kind of shifts into another dream.

John: You’re basically in this dream just denoting how things are still floating about in terms of the aspects of outer world and inner world kind of being quickened a little bit. Outer world affects still has its influence, and the double talk of your dream is that aspect, that you would consider alien, is actually more of the movement inside of something on the inner level awakening.

Jeane: So the dream this goes into, I’m about 17 or 18, and I’ve fallen in love with someone but it’s like his family wants to separate us. He’s gotten a scholarship to go to France for a year.

I can also travel to France but of course we won’t travel together. And I know his mother kind of feels that this will break us up if he has to actually be in France for a year, and in terms of traveling there it feels like the first night that I take off for France we just go to a camp maybe or an area – a whole bunch of us are traveling – where people have cabins in areas but I hadn’t made reservations before I got there.

Now as I look around, the cabins I might have been able to access, because they belonged to someone I knew, were always either full of kids that were there playing or going to spend the night, or the people weren’t there so I didn’t have a key to them. All the other places have kind of filled up, and so I’m looking around and I’ve even talked to someone who’s running the place and I can see she’s totally overwhelmed with leading all these people that have suddenly showed up into the few spaces she knows, and she doesn’t really know me or my family like somebody who’d been there longer.

As I look around I go back to where I kind of started out at this camp and I realize that there were two of us that were kind of sitting on a bed and I have a sleeping bag and I thought well maybe that will just be the sleeping arrangement rather than actually having your own bed and everything.

About the time that I finally decide where I can sleep even though it won’t really be a private room or anything like I’d initially imagined, then I suddenly find myself in a room that he has there and it’s a room with two beds because his mother will sleep there, but she’s out of the room right now.

So I’m kind of laying halfway across the top of his bed, he’s holding me, and I didn’t know it but he takes this drug and it’s almost interesting. It’s a drug that looks almost like this golden powder and he takes about a… oh, I don’t know, like an eraser size part of it, you know, the tip of an eraser on a pencil, and he sniffs this golden powder and then it leaves all these little golden flakes on his face.
I think the powder must act almost like cocaine, in my mind, because of the way he relates to it, and then he’s got these flecks on his face that I feel like I brush against as I go to kiss him. And then he holds me and we just have the longest kiss. And this kiss is going on forever and it’s very deep and very like penetrating, and in the back of my mind is a thought that his mother might come into the room so everything has to be held kind of as it is, but it’s like a way in which he is holding me is just so intimate, and the energy is so intense, that that just goes on forever until I wake up.

John: So what is happening is, the mother aspect represents the depth that exists in terms of the huge quality and mannerism of creation, or basically that which is in the outer.  But it is something in the outer that has mothered or developed a connection and a linkage to a son, that reflects the ether or source of things, or has a connection to that, to which the mother principle tends to hide that or safeguard that.

This actually exists like this. This energetic kind of exists like this, and that somehow or another you have a proximity to him that is more than you actually realize. In other words, it’s like you go to another place, but as you go to another place you see all these parts, but still somehow laying behind all of these parts or components or other people is something that is intangibly linked.

He can never get far from the mother quality inside, because the mother quality is the overallness of a beingness in the outer. And because of the depths of that mother quality, he then accesses things, and has accessed things, that come in a tremendous corresponding capacity from somewhere else. In other words, the heightened masculine wisdom.

However, where the paradox exists is you have the inflection, and you have the reflection, what reflects. The way this principle tends to work in a ordinary setting, because what you’re describing is a setting of a wholeness, but in an ordinary setting the way it tends to work is something comes down and through as a masculine energy, sets something up that sparkles and awakens from the feminine in terms of the feminine being complete but not knowing it.

And that’s what creates the cycle of something awakening. In this particular instance, what is happening is he carries this connection to the stars, to the twinkle of things, the sparkle, the gold dust on his face.

Usually where the paradox exists is usually at best you see this as a sparkle or a twinkle of the feminine that is awakened by things, whether they are good, bad, or otherwise, that just stir something so that something awakens in terms of the feminine, and that creates the legitimacy of the masculine.

In this particular case the wholeness is there. The mother is the Great Mother of all of life, and he is the prodigal son that’s connected to this that comes down and through, in terms of everything in life, in which you are in relationship to all of this, is you are, so to speak, the other half now. Instead of being the mother protecting the son, you’re the son coming out and finding the likeness of the mother.

In other words, it’s hard to say but you’re kind of like a shadow of the energy. In other words, what the mother is holding onto, protecting and safeguarding, he of course is protecting and safeguarding the security of something as a transmitted flow.

The two function, except she is the Great Mother of creation, and he is linked with the wisdom and the sight of the ethers, the stars, the gold dust that sparkles, and you are something that is evolving to be able to be in the sphere of that sort of thing. And from the standpoint of the Great Mother, you’re never going to cut the grade. But from his standpoint, there’s something about you in which he can take and create this huge transmission that comes all the way through and that is just basically how the greater expansive overallness works.

That which is the mother is one thing, and it is set, it is complete and set and whole, and that which is him, is the counter reflection of that in terms of the connection to the other side. And then that which is you in there is the animation of the aliveness that incorporates it all in a quickening. It’s like a reawakening and a quickening.

And so it’s an image in which you are never going to, in a way, until you become the Great Mother yourself, be up to snuff. And he will never ever be a person that’s away from the effect and the influence of the Great Mother because somehow or another that too corresponds to his depth.

So you’re the change agent, you’re the activation point in this whole equation, that causes something to be able to be shifted, to be made anew, and that whole thing, that’s kind of like the underlying dynamic that’s going on, that just is, and how do you make sense out of it? How do you describe what it’s about and why it’s needed or where it goes?

It’s just this other little dynamic that’s the byproduct of all of this, so to speak, cosmic action of which the Great Mother is creation and he is the linkage to that which comes from somewhere else. It’s an amazing dream isn’t it?

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Part of the Equation

Here, John breaks the dream image into its component parts to give a greater clarity to the message that is trying to come through. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Even though I dreamed last night, I just remember an impression and then the punch line, so to speak.

The impression is I’m in a town that’s a little bit like hillbilly country, where everybody doesn’t have much money and they live up on the hillside a bit. I seem like high school age or so, and I know that in the dream it feels like there’s a party that happens at the end of the dream, but the party is not really getting going and it’s being rather dull.

I go over to the two men that seem to be in charge of the music, like DJs, and the problem is that the way they play the music now isn’t like the old days where you could just pick up the record you wanted and put it on. It comes in a sense preprogrammed; there’s only certain music available and I feel like the thing that’s needed…

John: In the first part of the dream, the hillbilly town and where nobody has much money is a reflection of the fact that you’re not identifying with how things are energetically. In other words, the outer circumstances of things have weighed down upon your perceptions so that you’re going at a very slow, awkward, out-of-joint pace that is more or less in keeping with the environment that you find yourself in. That’s the first scenario.

The second scenario that you’re describing is that now you have somehow jump started this by having connected more to the recognition of an energetic flow. You’re not yet describing this as an inner to outer flow, other than the fact that you’re recognizing that you can have a music involved there in which two guys can be in charge of the music to try to keep the beat of something or the pace of something more enlivened.

The two guys that are in charge however is like the inner echo inside of yourself that is coming through that takes you out of this state of the initial part of the dreaming in which you are functioning kind of in a stupor because you are going in kind of a collective, dumbed-down, dense way of just responding to how things are.

In other words, you’re just in a hillbilly scenario and just getting by based upon the circumstances that are in the outer and you don’t yet in that first part have a recognition that you need to be adhering to something that has a different beat or a flow to it, and you’re catching up with that. You’re getting that in the second, almost amnesically however, because it’s not like you’re screaming that you now know that you need to be looking at the inner flow.

Instead you’re just kind of like, plop, in the scenario of things, and seeing that what makes this party of activity different is that there are a couple of guys in charge of the music or in other words keeping the beat up. But this could easily be something done in an outer context just as much as it could be done from an inner context. That’s why it isn’t yet certain as to whether or not you have gotten it in terms of where to place your attention, in terms of what is really real as opposed to what only appears to be real.

Jeane: I realize that the party really isn’t moving, so to speak, not mixing, so I go over and I tell them that we need some music by Led Zeppelin and that’s what would make the difference.They look at me and they are stymied because the way the music is set up it’s all electronic. They don’t have like records where you can just go pick up a Led Zeppelin record and put it on. You have to deal with the music that’s already programmed in or available electronically and they don’t have any Led Zeppelin, so that’s kind of where the dream ends.

John: Yes, from that you’re supposed to get the hint that the idea of changing the vibration of the scenario from conforming, to what is a more picked-up pace than the first dream, which is in an awkward backwardness in which everything seems dull around that aspect of the dream.

At least in this aspect of the dream you have the energetic, you have something picked up, but even though the energy can be picked up it too can be boring. It too can be trite.

This is a dilemma I’m always dealing with in that everything can seem kind of animated, the discussion can even seem somewhat interesting in a certain way of looking at it, but it bores me and I find myself trying to change subjects in order to increase the tempo, or to enliven it, or to cause it to be more comprehensive or expansive or something.

That part of me that is veering out to do that, is very characteristic of some inner quality flow or energetic that wants to get itself into the equation, and when I’m like that I may not know or may not be distinguishing to the fact that I am trying to get things back on an inner into outer.

I may just be looking at the blend of the flow that is happening, which has certain upbeats to it as well as a density or a neurosis or something that is boring to me, nauseating to me, even though others may like it or appreciate it as better anyway than your first image in which it’s just all hillbilly.

When I take and try to change the vibe of things, which is what you’re trying to do by realizing you want the Led Zeppelin record to play instead because it has a faster, quicker pace and it’s not as mundane or as ordinary as the current music is that needs a little spicing up or something.

The hint within your dream is, do you really get it that what you’re doing is your attention is more shifted, in the end, to a hearing of a flow that is of a kind of sight way, or as a type of light, that has information that needs to come into the outer scenario from another place, or from an innerness? And that this introducing Led Zeppelin, even though this disturbs the status quo, is what gets the job done.

See how that worked?

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