The Way Back

breadcrumbsIt might seem sensible that if we wanted to get back to where we came from, we could retrace our steps. But for the human journey, this isn’t true. We have to journey forward, letting go of all the accoutrements of manifestation that slow us down, or veil us, from what we truly seek. Will we look different? Not too much. Will we feel different? Yes, because we will be connected to the flow of the universal because we have put aside the stop-and-go of the planetary level. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my particular case, I dreamt the beginning and the end of the process. And so, in between, comes all of the hiccups. But if you look at something from A to Z, then, in between, you’re able to kind of get a gleaning of the hiccups that you wouldn’t normally have if you didn’t have the A to Z.

The dream starts out, it’s like I’m going back to almost like a demiurge now, and a demiurge is something that existed before you had man, or manifestation even. It’s just a vibration. And I start off as vibration that finds itself in some sort of all-inclusiveness. It’s not a definable inclusiveness yet, it just exists in this capacity.

And then suddenly, from this inclusiveness, there is the ability to denote, or to see, that you have a landscape, we’ll say. That’s all it is, is a still little landscape that you can look out upon. And that’s very interesting. I mean, before it was just the demiurge, and now, all of a sudden, there’s a landscape wherever you look. It’s kind of intriguing. It’s fascinating. But still no motion yet.

I mean, as you look out you could be fascinated, you can be in awe, but you don’t have an opinion. You’re just behold. And in that beholding you have a full heart, because everything in that landscape, and you, are somehow or another correlated.

And then, suddenly, a type of maturity, it’s like a feeling of taking a step, it comes over a person and you realize that you have your wants, and your needs, and thus it dawns on you that you can move about in this perceptiveness. And, as you do, you take on a sense of beingness within what is now an overall schematic, and you are something that moves around in this overall schematic.

Now, as you move around in this overall schematic, you’re sacrificing something very, very subtle, and for a long, long time you don’t realize that you’re losing a heartfulness. Because when there was just the demiurge, there was the whole sense of still, all-inclusiveness. And then when there was just the landscape, but no motion, there was a sense of a heartfelt, intertwined connection that was held in that landscape.

But then, as you start to move around, it’s almost as if you’re taking the substance of that which holds the landscape together, that was also part of the demiurge that was prior to that, you’re now taking, as you’re moving around, and it’s as if you’re drawing from a substance inside of yourself in a bifurcated way, in a blasphemous way, in order to move around distinctly within that atmosphere. And what happens is you get intrigued by the movement around in that atmosphere. And, somehow or another, are drawn to the curiosity of the moving around in the atmosphere, in a sort of spite to the heartfulness.

The reason why it’s considered a type of blasphemousness is that it’s not possible unless you rip off, or take away from, redirecting, refocus, subjugate the energy of the wholeness, push it aside in order to strain out of that a way of being in a modality sense. Separate.

It’s subtle, and people do this, and it’s almost as if their intrigue, or interest, suddenly starts to captivate them are louder than their sense of heartfulness. And so this goes on, and on, until it’s like you’re contracting yourself away from something that is a greater overall wholeness. And so you’re dumbing yourself down in the contraction at the expense of a heartfulness that feels the overall, all-permeating wholeness, the omniscience, and the omnipotency of everything being you. At some particular point, that’s too stifling.

Some part of you gets that; some part of you no longer can entertain itself by going off on these nuances. That causes an epiphany, or a change, coming back. And so now you try to come back into the expansiveness. Well, you’ve gotten pretty astray, having shrunk, in a way, and you’ve reproduced in accordance with that, as you did this, you notice that. And as you notice that you notice something more. And so you’ve gotten yourself pretty strung out, so that every little place that you place your attention is going to have a greater loudness than the echo of something of a greater heartfulness. And yet, you have to put your attention on the greater heartfulness because that’s the soul – not you functioning in some sort of diseased, dis-eased sense, which you now recognize is a dis-ease sensed. Because you’re starting to realize that, aha, what about this heartfulness that’s very, very faint, that has this all-inclusiveness and quality that is your natural beingness, somewhere in a still quiet state.

So something then turns, finally, where you kind of miss that. And so, to begin with, you try to re-experience this vibratory wholeness, or overallness. And you try then to use the tools of your waywardness to do that. You try to look around with your senses. You try to rearrange things as if this is going to bring you back into the greater spaciality. You’re acting like you can use those same tools to come back – instead of just letting go.

And, as you struggle in that way, you may become more sensitized to the other, it’s kind of like you might be, to a certain degree, polishing your way back, but you’re doing so only up to a degree, so to speak, because you’re not truly letting go. You’re noting the echo a little bit more, and a little bit more all the time, and it feels good to try to have some spiritual sense of it all, as part of your diet, your day-to-day diet in the outer, as kind of a pacifier because it starts off like a type of pacifier. And I guess it has to be viewed as a type of pacifier because you don’t know how to do this yourself. You can’t use the same mind that took you astray, in curiosity, to come back to something that’s the overallness. And yet you find yourself trying to do it this way, as if there’s a free flow, as if there’s a way that you can navigate, so to speak.

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What Lies Within

inner-connections2In these images, John is shown that there is nothing separate from us in the universe. In the outer life, we often believe that everything is separate, yet that is only a result of how we look at things. When we can hold the connection of being in a oneness, nothing is unknown to our higher self. This requires the subtle letting go of everything that prevents us from such a deep connection. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So in the dream, I am of the opinion that in creation that the variables I have to choose from exist as a part of me. There is no way for there to be anything that is separate. 

If I’m an aspect of all there is, there is nowhere to go. In the dream there is a noncombatant observer observing all of this as if helping me to sort this out. The issue is, is it possible for there to be a way of being that is not part of what is going on inside me? 

I just cannot understand what is the matter with me when I am in a situation and somehow forget this fact. In the dream, this occurs because I want to believe a soft-spoken demeanor is having or portraying some insight that is important, that I need to take in, as if it’s separate from me. As if I need to catch up with it.

But suddenly I realize that I’m not properly holding my mannerism, or I’m getting kind of confused. Because when the voice gets louder, speaks up, or when the voice kind of changes its demeanor in terms of its loudness and some quality varies just a bit, I’m able to realize that I had fallen for a style over substance. 

Somehow the observer, who is new to the scenario, is able to help me remember what I know by simply maintaining or holding the space and not buying into the issue. This is kind of a hard dream to write up because the image that I had to work with was just an image in which, I guess, I just felt there was really nothing new under the sun. It was just a matter of being able to see it for how it was, because everything is connected. 

We should all know what is proper, and what is right, and what is not. In that sense we have something in common. And so I seem to carry this higher-self kind of understanding in the dream, but what happens is I waver from that when some person who speaks with a certain degree of presence in a little voice and whatnot actually draws out my attention, so I’m inclined to put them on a pedestal, or give them a degree of credit that isn’t quite right.

In other words, I’m making something into being unique or more, when all of it is same/same – if you just know how to see it. And so when this person then suddenly, in a different atmosphere or just at a different moment in time, suddenly speeds up, or starts talking in a way that is more easily identifiable by me, in terms of what this is all about, that’s when I realize that this isn’t something new at all, and that I had gone on a tangent thinking that there is an aspect of something that I need to be aware of that I’m not already directly conscious of, based upon the fact that it is part of me.

This is an awkward meditation dream.

Well a couple of issues in this dream were pointed out to me that indicate that you have to drop the mental demeanor in order to experience anew. For example, if something is too settled in its mannerism, it is better to go out the door and then come back in. That was an image. You go out the door, start all over again.

This allows for a change of focus so a greater receptiveness can occur, in other words appreciation or whatever you call it, it is an aspect of the heart, but anyway whatever the sight is, or the conceptualization, you get it to drop its hold, or definition by the mind, and so then it can have a flow again.

And then initially I forgot the second image. I laid back and fell back asleep and it came in again.

The second image stems from the fact that the mind acts as a protective layer, which is trying to make things flow better. That’s the story that the mind tells you. So the image is that of a planer that accesses across another layer of protection. 

In other words, it’s like this, you have this device in which something flows back and forth, travels like a tread, and in this particular case, in order to mitigate the wear and tear so that it functions in a less vulnerable capacity, there’s an extra board that’s put in there. Most of them don’t come with it, but this particular device does. I call it a planer. 

This extra board runs all the way across the surface of this thing that goes back and forth and back and forth. Most of them don’t come with it, and it runs fairly flush. So that means that they’re more vulnerable, those that don’t come with it, in terms of breaking down, or having issues that you have to contend with.

This is something that you can settle back and, as a process, you can assume that this approach is going to be sufficient. And that’s an issue that’s true if you’re only looking at this from the aspect of manifestation, and the way things are done in manifestation.

But because there is something more subtle going on inside a person, a person has to be open to hearing and dealing with things that come in – and that can throw the heart around. That can be uncomfortable. And to do that you have to let down your protective guard, a little. You have to be more exposed.

And only when you do that, do you create the catalytic conditions whereby you can properly see what lies within. 

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Finding Inner Stability

MichaelGrab-GravityGlue1In a seemingly mundane series of images, it is revealed to Jeane how reacting to things in the environment can have a destabilizing effect. Whenever we feel the external world is something we can control, or steer in a certain direction, we separate ourselves from the natural flow of life. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: My dreams last night were somewhat frustrating because it felt like everything was a pale imitation of what you would actually expect, or had happened in the past.

It would be like little vignettes, like some people might be walking my dad down the street, and maybe he needed some detox or something, but they didn’t really know how to give him a proper detox, so I would go over and intervene because it was like they always treated everybody the same.

In other words, they didn’t pay attention to what your age was, or anything else. They might just do things cookie cutter. But I’m just walking into some room and I’m thinking like, you don’t do that. You have to take into account the different circumstances. But they seem to be kind of on automatic.

I know there was one kind of interim dream there too, where I just seemed to be getting together some stuff for hors d’oeuvres for a party, and it was like cream cheese with hot sauce on it that I’m taking.

Again, it seems like something pretty mundane, and then I ‘m trying to park a car. In that same dream I think I’m trying to coordinate some things with my relatives, my niece and her daughter and my sister, I think, and we’ve all brought cars and parked them at the house. And when I go up to the parking lot there are some cars that actually belong to people at work.

There are people sometimes trying to take them like they think like they’re mine, and I’m trying to explain that, no it belongs to work, so I have to do it a certain way, treat it differently than if it was yours in a way.

They seem to have parked the cars in this parking lot near my grandmother’s house, but the way they parked them if you nudge the car a little it actually goes down the bank and down an incline backwards and into a part of the driveway and might bump another car that’s also parked there.

And so I keep kind of trying to pull the car forward and get it anchored in a way where it won’t roll down backwards and bump anything else. And it seems to have to be done just right because it’s a car that kind of folds a little on itself, or something, so I’m just trying to juggle it so these cars like fit so someone can move them, and yet they don’t roll down and hit each other.

Then there was just a third little vignette where it feels like I’m at a nightclub and the gal, Sarah Michelle Gellar who used to play Buffy, shows up and it’s like there’s also some people at the nightclub that are maybe like ghouls or, I don’t know what you would call them, the type of people she used to fight, and they’re just kind of going around trying to put on special little costumes and stuff, and she’s actually looking fairly elegant.

But it’s almost like what they want to put up against her is something again, kind of Mickey Mouse compared to what she’s done before, just changing costumes, I don’t know.

Again, all the dreams I kind of had a feeling I was looking at them like something was going on that was kind of Mickey Mouse, compared to like a past with the energy of it.

John: Well, if I hadn’t had the same sort of thing going on myself, I probably wouldn’t have had the foggiest idea what you were doing and what it means. What I recognized and realized, in terms of what was going on in my dreams, which then is the same as in your dreams, is you’re being compelled to take and look at…
In other words, it is one thing to take and live something in the outer, and go through the outer, and you go through the anxieties, and the commotions, and reactions, and attitudes, and anger, and whatever the motif may be, or you could be self-conscious, or you could have a certain rigidity in terms of how you want something to be done.

You could carry all of that forth and beat yourself up in terms of a certain outer overindulgence, and sometimes maybe the best way of seeing that you don’t have to be that way, is to kind of have dreams that just kind of look at something that you typically are always readily doing, have a dream that really is, if anything, about what you’ve just done.

And then see from that dream, how it is that in this other way of being, inside of you, the way the energy works doesn’t have to be the way you’re applying it in the outer. Or, on an even higher octave of it, that every little nuance that you have carries very direct consequential effects in the outer.

In other words, you can go along and think okay, your opinion and reaction about something is just your opinion and reaction about something in the outer, and it doesn’t really necessarily have that great of an effect.

However, you’re shown, when you have difficulty figuring out how to even drive around, in other words, park your car, how to just situate yourself, you’re shown that the slightest little things cause things to go askew.

So that’s the component that you add to your dreaming that isn’t in my dreaming, is that you are shown that your overall schematic or placement that you have in the Whole is such that to the degree to which you, number one, take and differentiate yourself from the overall.

You then have mannerisms and traits and characteristics that you contend with, segregated, which take you out of the flow, and that in feeling it in the outer, and in feeling what images look like that have the parallel on the inner, you can realize and recognize that the intensity that you are bringing to bear is unnecessary – if you are truly recognizing that it’s all just one amorphic body that you don’t need to bring all of this intensity to bear.

And then you’ve switched it to kind of like a higher octave recognition that, to the degree to which you throw energy around, or carry distractive mannerisms that affect the way you try to situate yourself, that you can’t get very well positioned, or situated, because those mannerisms that you carry or project won’t allow you to park, or be settled, because they affect things in the environment.

It’s kind of like a takeoff of the idea that at one point in time you could probably go around and carry and maintain mannerisms and traits, and it was like it didn’t necessarily mean a whole heck of a lot because you were less conscious of how the effect of all of that worked.

But now you’re being shown that you have to take responsibility for your attitudes, moods, and mannerisms – the way you park yourself  – because if you are parking yourself off with any kind of tone, or demeanor, which doesn’t let go and isn’t carefree, that there are consequences of that, that it’s still maintaining a destabilizing effect, in terms of the environment.

The purpose of dreaming things like this is to try to get you to recognize that there is a way of being, which you can see yourself as being, like in the inner, that takes out that seriousness like the instance of something with your dad in the first dream. There’s that other part that’s just doing what it’s doing, and then there’s you acting like it has got to be streamlined and done differently.

There’s a way of taking out that seriousness, and that naturally that seriousness goes out, when you come to recognize that you’re working with an overall, you’re working with a Whole. But when you think you’re dealing with separate things, and separate mannerisms, then you react at every little thing that goes askew, and so you maintain some sort of steady, imposing energetic on the equation.

Now, what happens is that if you maintain the steady energetic, is that when you do that then you keep something from being able to shift, or to change, or you keep yourself from being able to advance, or progress, consciously, because as long as that is there, that’s where your attention is.

And therefore your car that you’re parking stays in some sort of destabilized mode. It’s constantly something you have to pay attention to because the slightest little vagary difference that you carry inside of you is affecting how the car is able to be situated.

You’re having to take and you’re having to look at this because the deeper theme of it all is that in order to go to another level of being, or consciousness, you have to drop a certain way, that you still allow or give yourself permission to be, that has these tones, these moods, these attitudes, these projections, because as it shows in the final dream, you can’t even get stabilized if you carry this sort of thing.

It keeps you from being able to park or be at ease, and this other shift that’s possible, which can bring in new potentialities and possibilities requires you to be able to just settle back and be part of the Whole, to be comfortable in the Whole and not have to go around quibbling and equivocating yourself in relationship to the Whole, as if you’re somehow or another distinct or separate, or that the overallness is a little haywire.

The Wholeness is complete in and of itself – if you can just sit there and be in it. It’s you that’s off, in terms of what you still carry as some idea of differentiation, which you still maintain and, therefore, you can’t be settled, you can’t park, and therefore you can’t shift to something even more, which the overallness offers up, or carries, that you’re actually connected to and merged into.

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