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Posts Tagged ‘withdrawing from life’

John: I think it’s worth continuing the discussion from yesterday (see Full of Myself) because it’s such a fundamental and important topic. What we are delving into is the constant battle we face, as humans, to let go of our personal expectations – our vision of how things should be – and to see life as it really is, in all of its multifaceted outplay.

So to recap the dream images, the best way I can describe them is that I would see something that was easy to define, easy to look at, and then I would consider how those images left me feeling. The simple images may have allowed me to feel safe, in the sense that nothing was being challenged, yet at the same time they left me feeling stifled, never really knowing what was going on because they were too cut and dried.

Then I was also seeing images in which there were three, four, five – who knows how many – possibilities and combinations, and with those I couldn’t feel comfortable. I couldn’t dumb them down to fit my worldview.

And it was the more complex images that, when accepted by me, enabled me to take something into account in a greater way. They were all intertwined, and I understood that they had to be intertwined, rather than minimizing them in order for me to feel more comfortable with myself.

In being forced to accept the multiplicity of images, knowing that they all fit and had something to do with what was really going on, I saw myself developing an ability to see the greater truth that is always available to us. I had a sense of the past, the present, and the future – especially in terms of what was designed to unfold.

We human beings cannot easily sit by in situations that confront us with circumstances that seem overwhelming. We can’t help but try to control the situation, or make choices, in ways that soothe our sense of wellbeing; when we do that, we deny things (information) that we don’t understand.

When we feel that sense of being overwhelmed, or that feeling of discomfort, we have one of two choices: we can either get away from it because it’s too chaotic to assimilate, or we can somehow allow ourselves to go with it and, in the process, gain access to a greater dimensionality.

Take, for example, our move to Las Vegas. It would be very easy to dismiss this city just because of its reputation and all that comes with it. Yet to do so would be to reject what is the underlying cause that has given this space in the desert an energy that is known worldwide.

The simple view would be to think that gambling and casinos are what give Las Vegas its energy – its pizzazz. But it’s really the fundamental energy of this place that allows it to happen. It’s unlikely that this city could have succeeded, in such a way, anywhere else.

So to dismiss it outright is to cut us off from the underlying energy that gives it life. A more complex view would say that there’s something more deeply significant going on here that draws people from around the world.

Examining these dreams has helped me to understand what it means to be more inclusive. In the simple dream images I felt some security, and dismissing Las Vegas as a place to live because of a simple view of it would have the same effect – I’d be closing myself off to the greater possibilities that brought us here in the first place.

So when we “bottom line” things that we encounter in life, we likely gain a fleeting sense of security – we risk less. In taking into account the multiplicity of life, we may feel momentarily confused, but in that scrambled condition we can develop the sight to perceive, and take in, and understand things that aren’t possible when we’re functioning only according to our own personal judgments and biases.

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John: Dreams tend to be very difficult as they start, and then they set something in motion that gets jarred loose. It’s like cleaning the rust off of something. And so a dream early in the night can be a way of unclogging things.

This dream starts off with me being presented with a sequence of energetic events. In other words, it’s like everything is part of a string that has a number of components to it. If you take on any one aspect, one dot of the sequence, then you have bought into the whole string.

The problem that I have, though, is that these strings are thrown at me. I think that if I open up one of them, I’ll find myself affected by that whole sequence and energetic flow, which means that it creates a type of karma that has to reflect, or be lived out, in the outer imagery of the dream.

So I’m finding that I’ve been turning away from all these options, these strings of events. In doing so, I’m preventing something from opening up. There is one exception that I make, however, and that is a string of events connected to a glass of water that is presented to me.

It seems innocuous enough. My initial feeling is that because the glass of water has been sitting around, it has to be stale. But the person who is trying to present it to me assures me it is not.

I take a drink and am surprised that the water is cool and refreshing. I realize that my reluctance to accept any of these strings of events has become a form of withdrawal. So now the image shifts into a portrayal of this withdrawal and I find myself sitting in a room in a tenement house.

The room I’m in is not much. The door is cracked open slightly and I can hear a lot of activity and noise from the hallway and other rooms. Everything seems to be going haywire around me, so I have blocked myself off from it.

Even though the door is open, I have created a barrier so that others know they shouldn’t come in. I have no intention of going out. My sense is that what is around me is kind of poisonous or harmful to my nature, or just something I need to stay away from.

I feel groggy, as if I am in some sort of stupor. I’m waking up late. Everything outside the room is in commotion. And in the toe of my shoe, crammed in there at the very tip, is something I’m refusing to look at. I’m convinced it’s poisonous.

I’m also convinced that it has something to do with the people who live in this building. I don’t want them to have any effect on me whatsoever. All this struggling is contributing to my being unable to come out of my trance. I’m groggy, tired, withdrawn, and out of touch with the rest of the place around me – it irritates me.

But something comes over me at some point and I reach in and take out this compressed object that is in the tip of my shoe. It looks lifeless, black, and dead. I stare at it and imagine that it resembles a decomposed mouse (that’s my active imagination). It’s looks more like a balled up piece of rag.

Just the thought of it makes me cringe a bit and I consider it kind of poisonous. I do not want to smell it; it could kill me or just be really unhealthy. So I flush this smelly and poisonous thing down the toilet.

So what is this dream showing me? Tomorrow we will open up its deeper meaning and follow the trace of subsequent dream images later in the night. In this way we can get a better sense of how our dreams prod us, nudge us, to come to a recognition about aspects of ourselves that we may not normally acknowledge in our waking life. In this way, dreams offer us the possibility of helping us evolve personally, saving us from having to learn things the hard way, i.e., in our waking lives.

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