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Posts Tagged ‘your higher self trying to awaken you’

walk-on-roller-coaster-designsoakIn today’s dream, Jeane finds “the roller coaster of life” needing repairs, but runs into resistance from the union in charge of that. This image points to the tendency in us to shrink everything down to known quantities. By doing this, we may make ourselves feel safer in the near term, yet we lose the dynamic of a new awakening, thereby limiting its potential outplay through us. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: In my second dream, I’ve kind of forgotten my part of it, but the dynamic gets repeated in the masculine. It’s like I’ve traveled towards a place where I come across… it’s actually a means of public transportation that looks a little like a roller coaster. It’s not the extreme of a roller coaster, but it’s like open cars that are linked that people ride in to get from place to place, with maybe a little covering above.

There’s a man in the roller coaster with his wife, but he actually is a business owner that maybe has a repair shop and stuff, and he’s making a complaint, and I’m backing him up in this complaint, because there are some problems with getting to one place and the other. And he would actually even have the means of fixing them. He has a lot of different stuff around him.

The thing is, because the public transportation system is all unionized and everything, they have their own way of doing something and that way of doing something, as he’s pointing out, kind of stops sometimes simple repairs, or fixes, or things that would make it easier for everybody else in getting it done.

If they would recognize sometimes that they have individuals riding there, that if they would just let them even subcontract, or do little bits of things, that the whole thing would go a lot smoother and I’m backing him up on that viewpoint.

It seemed like in traveling to that point, I was bringing out that same kind of issue with somebody else, that there are certain things that would work better if you would let people act with a little bit of initiative instead of having it all regulated.

John: Basically, it’s one of acceptance. In other words, the predilection of one’s nature is to kind of have everything controlled, and everything follow into a natural order. In other words, you could have the transportation of yourself unionized and, in doing so, that may appear to be an answer when it comes to working with the roller coaster of life – if everything is unionized so that it’s all coated over, and lathered, and painted, and brushed over.

But in terms of then a certain dynamic of expression, that’s been choked out of the equation when it’s unionized, and you need that dynamic of expression to be able to succinctly, and quickly, solve things because once it’s all unionized it’s just caught in a homogenous effect. And the degree of depth and freedom that can be brought to bear has been carefully abstracted out of the process.

You could say, okay, on one level that the unionization carries a benefit, in that there is something organized that is supposed to be attentive, but on another level, the depth of what can be attentive and that mushroom out of the rootage of something integrally intertwined, in other words, rising up from within the ashes of the situation, that is choked out. And so you’re recognizing that, and that was the theme as well.

In one way you’re looking at it in terms of a nature of something that awakens through a human being, and then in the other you’re looking at it in terms of how it is ushered forth, or carried forth, into life.

A person who is well rounded and well balanced wants to have his world flow along with the right family, the right job, the right number of kids, the whole thing. And then a person that has to contend with things has to basically go through the challenges of what they’re contending with, and then to the degree to which those challenges affect them, or how they live or carry those challenges, rubs off on them in terms of what kind of family, and what kind of job, and what kind of kids, and the whole thing – what kind of family life that they then develop.

And so you can look at that, and if there’s a certain catching up with the consciousness of that, that can be kind of interesting. And then the person who has done it in a rounded way can look more like a type of person that has the white picket fence and the white house. And yes, there’s something nice and sweet about that, but it’s awfully Pollyanna when it’s like that, it’s bland.

So your dream took, first of all, and recognized it as a quality as it exists, and wakes up, and occurs inside of you on an awakening development level, coming through a human being. And then your dream takes that quality of what awakens, and has awoken, inside and then takes and turns that into the way the outer can be in relationship to that.

In other words, if you’re only able to have something be at a particular level of balance, then your outer has to be at that same particular level of balance because that’s where you’re at consciously. But if you’re awakened to something where you can take on more dynamic, and raw energy, or peculiarities of things that are intriguing, that you have to be challenged with in terms of having to cope with, then simultaneously you’re going to get confronted with the same thing because you’re able to handle that, and you have said yes to that. You’re going to get affected by that as well – in the outer. So, “the inner reflects the outer” is kind of like a general way of pulling the two together.

 

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The masculine perspective, in dreams, often deals with the smaller details of situations, compared to the feminine perspective, which often relates to the overall nature of a situation. Here, John has an image involving changing trains, yet in making this inner shift, he finds himself disconnecting from the flow.

(At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: We are kind of on a theme in which even the dreams that we’ve had before have led us up to kind of like this point of unfoldment, in which there is a captivation to the essence that lies behind what is normally just a projection.

And for most people it still remains just a projection to which they identify within an outer context, but for me there are particularities that may now seek, to access or reach, in order to come to grips with this inner meaningfulness.

And in your dream (see The Big Fish), you’re shown it in a general context, and in the general context you’re seeing how you’re doing in relationship to the expansive wholeness that you are meant to catch up with and embody. And in your dream what you’re seeing isn’t yet complete. It’s formative.

That’s best portrayed by the final image, but even in the images leading to the final image, it’s the final image is the clearest because I have the familiarity to what a fish means, and over and over again it seems to have this universal symbolism of a consciousness, or an awakening.

And so you can take the fish that you see, okay here comes the consciousness symbolism, and how that symbolism looks or comes across in terms of you. And you can see the surprise and the shock of you noting that, and then appreciating that in relationship to finding it behind, or within, the essence, as an essence to what is ordinarily just a reflective image. And yet there it is as something more significant to come to grips with or to just take in. Your dream has that whole outer context.

In my case, I’m trying to deal with the inner. I have to address little things that keep me from quite getting it, or from staying in sync with it, which again is the more masculine nature – the particularities. You have the generalness of the overallness, and I have like a particularity to the same subject.

This dream begins with me seeking to be a person who gets off a train and onto another train, because the train I had been on, which provided a nice casual ride, now something has shifted in which the next train has particular other qualities that I have to take more responsibility for, and I have to access directly.

And I have a whole sense of that, but that doesn’t mean that I have the stability and balance for it to happen. And so what happens is I see myself move up to where the door is, and before it is announced where it’s perfectly safe to get off, or everyone can now leave, it’s kind of like you have in an airplane where you’re not supposed to get out of your seat until something gives you the notice that you can do so, or otherwise you’re being rude or inappropriate to the way something is supposed to unfold.

Well, that’s kind of what’s going on here is that I’ve moved up to the door before it’s timely, and then I even push through the door to try to get an edge in terms of finding a seat on the next train and, in doing so, I don’t realize that I am out of sync with the flow, and a naturalness from within.

On this train there are seats that connect you to kind of an inner unfoldment as you ride. Once one gets off on a tangent like that, even though I have a sense of what it is that I need to recognize, I can’t find them. I can’t identify them.

And yet here I am jumping on this train early. It’s as if somehow there are others that have gotten still ahead of me in some capacity, or if I do see seats, I’m continuously looking for something that’s in a different rail car, or something that’s better, or more succinct. And I end up finding myself in this condition, or state, or mood, or mannerism, that I’m carrying, which has gotten exasperated, and not found a seat at all.

The reason for a dream like this is to show that in one capacity or way inside of myself I am able to recognize how there is kind of an interesting way that something unfolds, and that you can connect with that and be fed by that.

But then at the same time, when you get to indulging in the importance of that, as if you have something to say about that or need to adopt a higher degree of control or peculiarity in relationship to the unfoldment, as if there are things in the outer that can get in the way, and so now you’re taking what had been perfectly fine as an inner essence and now putting a seriousness spin on it in terms of outer reflections.

What this does is this throws you off. It throws you kind of on a tangent. And once you get on this tangent, you don’t shake it. And you project this tangent upon other people. And you could sit there and deep down in some state you can know that this is how you would have liked to have done it, and wanted to feel, but you can’t because you went off on an indulgence instead of just staying in the inner flow.

So as a consequence you’re now communicating that reflective imbalance, and if you really look at it it feels horrible, but also at the same time it’s a type of clutchiness. It’s a type of grabbing. This is what tends to cause this sort of thing to suddenly pop up.

You can know the flow. You know that it’s there but you could be repeating over and over again, that the fact that you’re acting out a reflective mannerism – as if it can affect or do something to the inner flow – instead of being in a state in which there is an emptiness and a letting go feeling that has this auric trust and wholeness from which whatever unfolds is what is meant to be.

As opposed to suddenly getting to the point where you catch up with the fact that there was the flow, like this other train, and then now all of a sudden you have to take on a more engaged relationship to that because you have caught the flow, and now you’re in a reflective outer, and now you’re trying to put two and two together.

And when you function like that, that is when you start to become disoriented. That’s when you’re blinking, as if the outer actually has a consequence over the inner – and it never does. It’s you trying to take and do a deviation as if that’s important; taking something and drawing out of it that which isn’t there, imagining that which isn’t there, glowing too much in outer circumstances and having reactions according to those outer circumstances – inside.

And then eventually getting to a point where whatever those reactions are rub off on you, and so you emote that. You hate the fact that you’re emoting that, but you can’t stop yourself. This actually then keeps you from being in tune with that essence that you can just be flowing with, and feeling, and carrying, and transmitting, and watching it from a withinness, do its creative magic or creative thing. The degree to which you carry some imbued trait of tangentiality is the degree to which you compromise that. And it feels horrible, but you do it.

I wrote up a kind of meaning to it that might help too, because it’s a dream about indulging: to do so is to kill the magic and to get in the way of the natural flow. I’ve been fortunate to have been on a train that got me to this point with a flow that I was able to enjoy. Now I am shifted as a next step to a new train.

I carry an energetic entitlement. I’ve taken on this energetic entitlement that has me imposing myself without the composure and graciousness I know is imperative to my wellbeing. To do so doesn’t work, because while you’ve taken on this awkwardness – it is not about me. Yet you’re somehow making it more like you have a piece of the action or something. I will not find the inner into outer connection if I violate the natural inner trust that acts from, and for, a natural inner knowingness.

What the dream is doing is causing me to see how my raciness keeps the natural linkage and flow from unfolding, and takes me away from the inner into outer recognition I need to be abiding in.

Of course as a scenario you could say that I find myself in a state of subtle desperation, and in doing so I lack the usual graciousness I normally carry in my aura. And once you get off like that you tend to stay off and be on a spin, which is away from the inner path. You then, in terms of reflections, reflect that as a denseness, instead of the inner quality that keeps things joyful around you and happening.

And I was unnaturally sharp with people. You get a unnaturally sharp with people, which isn’t one’s actual nature but depicts and points out that you have allowed this raciness vibe, or something that’s pressing you, to take that on as if that is actually real.

And then that vibe gets imbued into things and causes a loss to occur, which becomes a blockage, or a veil, or an attitude that stands between the inner flow, with the appreciation and naturalness, which is imperative in this phased way of compressing to seeing the inner flow in its importance.

Before I just needed to be on the train, now I’m required to hear this a little more succinctly, trust in its meaningfulness, and take care to not get off on the wrong foot and end up imposing an outer pattern. For me to be who I am meant to be, I must remain attentive to the natural inner unfoldment.

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In this conversation between John and Ann, an archetypal dream scenario unfolds. (This recording does have some difficult passages, in terms of audio quality, but the text is provided to clarify any uncertain wording. It’s a journey worth pursuing! At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)


John: It was another active night of dreaming. Did you dream actively too?

Ann: Well, I wrote it up here this morning because I finally was able to put my finger on it. The dream theme has been organizing. It’s like there are three parts to the organization and every night it’s been different dreams, very in depth, but organizing, and it has to do with three.

Like one night I was dreaming and organizing people into these three groups…

John: When you’re working with three you’re shifting something in. One step links to the next step links to the next step and what’s really, really unusual, that even a lot of teachers don’t notice, is that there actually is a fourth step. But mostly it’s three steps over and over again.

The first step is good for your foundation, the second step puts you into an aspect of how you correlate a motion with it, but aren’t necessarily conscious, but are unfolding nevertheless in that regard, and the third step is generally a breakthrough.

So let’s see how you did it.

Ann: Okay. In one of the first dreams I just remember that there were groups of people and I didn’t necessarily know the people, but I had to organize the people into these three groups. And so at one point I remember shifting some of the people around and moving them and thinking well no, that’s not quite right, and then finally, towards the end of that particular dream, I’d stand back and think okay, now that’s the way it should be.

John: It is said that on this path we are the designers, and what you’re doing is you’re shaping something. You’re attempting to tune in to a center of listening that knows how something is meant to be.

In other words, how it’s to be contained, or how it’s to be in the overall. That’s the general motif that you, so to speak, feel in your bones, or in other words, whenever I say that one’s feeling this so to speak in their bones, and so you go around and around to try to get it to come out or to flow or to come together, it’s like something that’s felt in the bones is like an inner vibration that is trying to live through you.

In other words, the way you live in the outer is one thing, identifying with your senses and how you perceive off of that and such. This other is like a whole other dimension that has you taking on, if one was describing it in a shamanistic way, your spot, your point in the whole. In other words, how it is that everything cycles. It’s like you being the essence and everything’s cycled around that, is perhaps another way of saying it.

That’s not quite right because everything is the wholeness. Nothing is distinguishable, but it’s how it kind of can be inclined to feel when you are trying to pull it all together.

So how does it work in the second dream?

Ann: The second dream earlier this week, I had lists of things and I had files and lists and I was trying to organize these things into these three lists. I just remember three kept coming up.

John: That trait that you’re describing is what the teacher says is the greatest problem for the feminine. The masculine is another word for it, that its greatest problem, and there are actually two things that are considered the big problem for the feminine, and you’re doing the second here. You’re not able to stop your doingness.

In other words, the feminine is a container energy, but then it can get lost in the minutia of its doingness, where it’s got this and this and this and that and that and that. So you have this central thing that is pushing you, the essence of something trying to come through that’s pushing you, and the way you’re working with it is you’re making your lists to try to pull it together, thinking that the list will pull it together.

Actually what happens is you kill the energy that way, but you make it so mundane, you make it so tight, you make it so dense that you put yourself in a mud puddle of suffering. You know, in trying to make the list work because the list format won’t work, because the list format is based upon how all of this needs to portray itself in the outer.

See, the vibration is an innerness coming in, and the list is an attempt to orchestrate that in the outer. I mean, this is the best you can do to catch up with it. I mean, you’ve done your best to try to contain the whole essence of what it is that’s in your bones so to speak, and because you’re in the outer your faculties come to bear then, and try to make lists to help it, but everything is being done in relationship to the outer, which is the reflective deadness of things.

And once in a while you get a break and something actually kind of works, and that spoils you. Because it’s kind of like maybe more by accident, because the inner is what is alive and the outer is the reflective or the dormant, and most of the time it’s on a slightly different tango. So, that’s how you are trying to work with it. Now let’s see if the third aspect shows you making the breakthrough.

Ann: Yeah, this is the last dream I had last night and so I’m kind of like sitting, I’m sitting at like a table or something, and I’m looking up at this great big screen and it’s like you know how you have documents on your computer and you have them in icons?

I had these icons and I kept moving them around and moving them around and thinking okay, I can’t quite get this but I was moving them around knowing that they were supposed to sort of be in a sequence or something, and all of a sudden it was like I moved them and I just sat there and I said, “Oh, I got it, I got it,” and then I woke up.

John: Huh. Now that would be different for the masculine than for the feminine. No wonder I created such a reaction when I was playing with this idea of the mystic versus the alchemist.

It’s the masculine needs to figure out how to be the alchemist. The feminine is naturally the alchemist. It’s the feminine that needs to figure out how to be the mystic, how to see.

That’s what you’re doing is you get to the point where aha, you see, and… I don’t know, this is so simple. I am surprised I didn’t make this correlation before, because a lot of times when I’m talking to the feminine, suddenly there’s the aha moment, the light bulb moment.

It is really pronounced with this little old lady that I talk to that’s like 70 some years old, and she’ll quibble and struggle with how it is that she perceives because she’s had a lifetime of experiences. And often times I’m just trying to get this to come through, trying to get this to come through, and all of a sudden maybe I trip through whatever the barrier is.

Usually it doesn’t work that way to try to press something through, but she’s got such a good heart that it can happen that way too. And so when it does, it’s like you just hear this huge in-breath, ahh, it’s an aha moment. She got it, and it doesn’t mean she can hold onto it. It was a very fast flash. It’s a sight. It’s a seeing.

And then the tendency is her basic nature is so slower and so she could fall back and it can veil right up again, and so I’m learning to try to figure out how to do this more smoothly because I have to jam it through. It runs counter to a person’s assimilation process.

So what was happening in your particular case was you were going at this at a pace, where first of all you are confronted with what it is that is your greater responsibility in terms of who and what you really are. That’s your first dream, where you are feeling it in the bones.

But because you’re in the outer, and not on the inner, because you’re in the physical body, you’re trying to sort this out by working with the outer characteristics, and so you are trying to rearrange that. You’re making your list. You’re thinking that this way you’ll catch up with it.

But that approach is disrespectful to the inner, because it’s the inner where the attention needs to be placed, and not in the outer. The outer is reflective of the inner. Yes, on some level you can say that the inner and the outer come together, but that’s just like light and sound are, you know, a way of looking at it they’re just at different speeds.

And in the last, you pull together the inner and the outer with your aha moment, with that flash that you got. That works that way over and over and over and over and over again. You need that inflection. You need that sight.

This is something that I pondered, and how funny I never made the association with the masculine and feminine like this before, I’ve made the association in terms of thinking, feeling, intuition, and sensation.

And I identify in myself the sensation being the imbalance, and when it’s in balance I have more of an alchemical side working. I’ve often noticed that when a woman is very subjected and holds something inside of herself as a great knowingness, that needs to be jostled through, that it’s almost like her thinking function is jumping around and when it suddenly hits and then out through the intuitional flash comes the knowing, that’s like a sight.

And that works for her. The trigger being the thinking, and in this case, the intuition being the knowingness that just comes through. And then can you hold that pace, that speed? Because the tendency is, because we live in the 99.9% world of senses, is the tendency then to go back to that world of sound, so to speak, instead of the world of light, the world where you mystically see it and get it. You mystically seeing something and getting it, causes it to come through.

The masculine being able to take what it sees and somehow or another function with it, in terms of the outer, that’s the alchemical linkage. Strictly speaking the alchemical is the feminine, but she doesn’t have the masculine. Strictly speaking the masculine is the mystical, the mystic, that doesn’t have the alchemical.

It is very interesting. What happens is you tend to have to, if you’re a woman, you have to find the masculine side of yourself, which is that light, that spark.

In other words, it is like it comes down. It’s like a seed thought or something. It comes down and it finds its correspondence on the plains of wholeness. Now, if you don’t have a greater relationship or connection with that, then you fiddle around and with your moods and mannerisms you make your checklist, and you’re caught up in your doingness.

And it ain’t gonna go very far. Well, you know… It nauseates you. I mean, you know, usually you find yourself all worn out. It should have worked. I mean, you know, you took great care in making these lists, and these lists made sense because you did hear something in the bones so to speak from which to generate the list.

Now, where one gets into trouble is it’s a little bit like the gambler, like the gambler that goes down let’s say and he gets on the slot machine and he hits the jackpot. He shouldn’t of course, statistically he’s going to lose, but once he hit this jackpot he gets to imagine he’s infallible and so he thinks he can repeat this over and over and over again, and now he’s hooked and now he’s lost.

Well, the same thing can happen when you feel something in your bones and you start to make your checklist. Sometimes something is still kind of alive yet, in the outer reflection, that does correspond a wee bit to this inner thing, and when that hits then you get to thinking that it works that way.

It was only by accident that it worked that way, that that something at the slower vibration hadn’t been left behind or something, that things had moved on or whatever, in terms of the speed of things, and so you then are inclined to indulge even more. And you’re inclined to put up barriers, hissy fit barriers to fight to make that work.

I mean, you’re right – these lists have gotta make it work. You’ve done your thing. These lists is where it’s at, and it’s only when you settle back that you can come to recognize that it’s this light bulb flash.

There are other ways of describing it too. Take for example dream interpretation. It’s almost somewhat of a list orientation, if you take a dream and try to understand it in terms of its symbolism.

However, the light of it, or the flash of it, comes from a knowingness that is on a mystical level. You just know it, and if you take and apply the symbolism, sometimes you’re right and sometimes you’re wrong.

And so what happens is most places where you have dream interpretation you have what this means and what that means kind of thing, and you have that kind of twisted perception.

It never jumps to the inner. It jumps to the outer correlation, which sometimes is okay and sometimes is not, but if you really feel it, it’s always missing something. It’s missing the overdrive. It’s missing the greater meaning. It might have a bit of a lesser meaning, and sometimes it misses that completely too, because things have passed it by. It’s dead energy, because it’s reflective.

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